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Sez Me …

With a 17-game schedule, the NFL really doesn’t have a true halfway point.

So, now that The NFL Team That Used To Be Here — you know, the Judases/L.A. Lodgers — is 5-4, there’s no better time for the professor to give out first-semester grades.

Here are the marks, and remember, no wagering:

Quarterbacks — B-plus

Justin Herbert is really, really good — probably too good to be playing much longer for the team known internationally as the Fredo Spanos & Sons Mistakes. He’s hung around despite his own cracked rib cartilage, an offensive line continually in sick bay, and injuries to his top two wideouts — Keenan Allen and Mike Williams. Very few QBs can match throws with him. Problem is, history remembers wins.

Running Backs — B

Austin Ekeler remains among The League’s top protean backs. While he wasn’t used out of the backfield as he should have been early on, he’s been forced to do more of it when Herbert can’t find someone other than walk-ons to throw to. So the run game has suffered. It would be nice to see rookie Isaiah Spiller get more opportunities.

Receivers — D

Allen’s historic hamstring basically has made him inactive since game one. And Wiliams went down a few games ago with a high ankle sprain (both likely to return Sunday). Deandre Carter and Josh Palmer have done the best they can, but they aren’t a one and two. Allen and Williams have been on the field together for 43 plays. Right end Gerald Everett is a movable target.

Offensive Line — INC

Probably playing better than what’s seemingly possible. Very hard to grade. Rashawn Slater, who was playing left tackle as well as anyone, went down early, and then it was spin the bottle to point at any lineman who could play the game. Much better at protecting the passer. Herbert has been sacked just 13 times, fewest in the NFL.

Defensive line — D-minus

Tackle impaired. Jerry Tillery was cut and Austin Johnson, Christian Covington and Otito Obgonnia are out for the year. Sebastian Joseph-Day has been more than OK, but these guys couldn’t stop runs with 50 gallons of Pepto.

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Linebackers — C

Basically the same as the D-line. Tackling often is spotty in the front seven. Drue Tranquil is having a nice season. Kenneth Murray has talent, but gets injured setting his alarm clock by remote control. Missing Joey Bosa terribly. Khalil Mack has seven sacks and might have more with Bosa around.

Secondary — C

Expensive free agent corner J.C. Jackson wasn’t money before an injury benched him for the year. They probably have played over their heads, but remember, teams run on the J’s, first and foremost. Derwin James is the game’s most versatile safety. Ballhawks needed.

Special Teams — B

Better under new teams coach Ryan Ficken. Carter is a solid return man. The top two kickers have been missing time but Cameron Dicker The Kicker has been good, so good he may win the job. JK Scott has had trouble with position kicks. But the unit’s no longer a punch line.

Coaching — D-minus

All too often sophomore head coach Brandon Staley plays like a teen in a horror movie. Makes bad decisions, and his assistants aren’t invulnerable to errors. Staley got his butt kicked into his chest by Jacksonville and Seattle. So much for defensive wunderkind. That he’s had so many injuries to his better players to contend with has made it much tougher to contend, but using injuries as an excuse is for losers. His team just doesn’t look right. It can’t sustain. Can he?

Outlook — F

Go to a fishmonger and smell the head of a flounder. If it stinks, don’t buy it. Move on. Fredo Spanos is the head of this floundering franchise, and a quick sniff will tell you you’re not in Coco Chanel’s lab. He’s a carpetbagger, who can’t get a home game at home. Sell. …

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Know when all these silly NFL power rankings will matter? The night of Feb. 12, following the Super Bowl. …

The NFL, finding more success in Germany than Richard Wagner, is planning to play games that count in Spain and France. Owners obviously care about winning when they green-light the loss of home games. …

I take it back. The AFC West appears to be falling just a bit short of being the best division in history. …

Aaron Rodgers: “I do think it’s time to go all grass throughout the league.” Also in agreement are Ricky Williams and Willie Nelson. …

Because Old Man Winter is hacking away at Buffalo, Sunday’s Browns-Bills game has been moved to Detroit. Which means both teams lose. …

Jalen Mayden’s San Diego State story is similar to Marshall Faulk’s. Coaches didn’t know what they had until they had to use them. …

Funny how an athletic quarterback who can spin it accurately can turn the most boring offense possible into entertainment. …

The Padres are looking for their 100th batting coach since moving to Petco. GM and Prez of Baseball Ops A.J. Preller will interview Saint Jude, the Patron Saint of Lost Causes, who doesn’t mind carrying a heavier load now that the elections are over. …

But, in that Petco is in the Padres’ heads, maybe Sigmund Freud can assist. …

Dave Roberts finished second in NL Manager of the Year voting. No offense, but Jayce Tingler could have squeezed 100-plus wins out of the Dodgers. …

The more I think about it, Manny Machado should have been NL MVP. He piggy-backed the Pads and carried them. Not much firepower around Manny. …

The USFL’s Memphis Showboats will debut in 2023, a long awaited football version of the historic Jerome KernOscar Hammerstein musical. …

No problem here with Twitter canceling my verification. I always thought a blue check was a depressed Eastern European. …

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I now can only hope Elon Musk doesn’t take me off the waiting list to Mars. I’m hoping for an upgrade. …

I must have seen more movies than Cecil B. DeMille, and I’ve reached the conclusion that Rosalind Russell is my silver screen actress of choice. Catch her if you can in Howard Hawks’ “His Girl Friday,” my favorite comedy/newspaper film, scatting machine-gun dialogue nose-to-nose with Cary Grant. Beyond brilliant. …

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No beer allowed at Qatar World Cup games. For what other reason would soccer fans want to go? …

Spain has taken over the No. 1 spot from the U.S. in men’s world basketball rankings. But the Spaniards are nervous over the Americans’ unexplained rise in bullfighting. …

Four of this country’s top-10 prep basketball recruits have committed to Kentucky. I don’t know how much NIL is involved, but you’d think these kids would want to go to a school where they can win championships. …

Titans offensive coordinator Todd Downing was arrested the morning after he called a nice Thursday night game in Tennessee’s win over the Packers. So stupid. But, if he’s booted from Nashville, he always can find a job in Kansas City. …

World population has reached 8 billion, most of whom never will have to pay for trash pickup they already pay for. …

I usually don’t disagree with Herschel Walker, because it’s hard to disagree with things I’ll never understand and can’t be explained. But I always thought vampires were cold, not cool.

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