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This is a rush transcript of “Gutfeld” on October 6, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Yes. Happy Wednesday, everyone. It is Wednesday. Another glorious day in the People’s Republic of Biden. Where every day the great unifier leads us down a path of chaos. But before we dive in, it’s time for seven jokes. Not to be confused with the CNN lineup.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Greg’s seven jokes.


GUTFELD: I do not like that music. Anyway, a Florida teacher has been arrested for having sex with a student in her car on multiple occasions. When asked about it, she said it wasn’t sex. She was showing the kid how to drive a stick. She’s been fired although there’s a school wide petition demanding she’s still teach driver’s ed. That’s two. Katie Couric is getting called a misogynist and is for her new memoir in which he trashes other women and glosses over a connection to perverts like Matt Lauer and Jeffrey Epstein.

Defenders say that’s unfair and point out to her charity work for the Ted Bundy Foundation. When told she was being called a misogynist and this by other woman, she replied, tell those bitches to shut up and make me a sandwich. That’s for your counting at home. Actress/Comedian/has been Sarah Silverman slams Hollywood for casting non-Jewish actors to play Jewish characters as an example of Jew face.

Which is the kind of nuanced opinion you’d expect from a performer who’s done this. Yes. Vice President Kamala Harris has finally sold her D.C. condo for 1.85 million. The bad news for Kamala according to a new Democratic bill, the new buyer owes her nothing because the condo will pay for itself. Meghan Trainor and her husband admitted to having two toilets next to each other so they can go to the bathroom at the same time.

Where’s the extra toilet in Brian Stelter’s bathroom is a spare. And that’s seven jokes. I give it four out of seven, maybe three. All right. So what happened to all those progressive women who once cared about women, especially women in power? Well, it all goes away. If you aren’t there kind of woman. Suddenly oppression is necessary. Here’s our favorite sack of spoiled potatoes. Joy Behar explaining that activists had to go into the bathroom to confront Senator Sinema.


JOY BEHAR, ABC HOST: Sinema is MIA all over the place. She’s not around. They call her to have a meeting. They tried to get her on the phone. She doesn’t — she’s, you know, she’s like a missing person. So this is the only alternative they have.


GUTFELD: Easy for her to say. No one’s brave enough to follow Joy Behar into the can. Talk about a death wish, six feet of distance versus that blast radius? The only time I’d agree with Fauci about wearing multiple masks. So OK. Sinema being MIA makes it OK for her to be bullied in a bathroom? By Joy’s logic, right-wing activists should be in a line at 15 deep in front of a stall when Kamala is dropping the kids off at the pool.

And a little phrase, I mean, talk about someone being MIA, she’s the first V.P. in history who can only be found with an amber alert. But my favorite hypocrite the shapeshifter Kirsten Powers who used to spend many lonely night lecturing us and how mean we are to women in politics and that a lack of grace was destroying the very fabric of America. But now that she’s on CNN, her opinion suddenly changes.

It’s amazing with 300 bucks a week and free hair and makeup will do. I don’t know if that’s the case. She claims that she was flabbergasted. Flabbergasted that people were upset over bullies chasing Sinema into the stall. And her reasoning was if Sinema didn’t want them to follow her into the bathroom, she shouldn’t have gone into the bath. Damn. All that’s missing is she was asking for it.

Yes. How dare the senator use a bathroom and how dare she show off her well rounded moderate answers for the world to see? And why — and why they need to use the toilet? Just do what other Democrats senators do and piss on her constituents. So it’s a tale — thank you. It’s a tale of two Kerstin’s one denied a safe space in a restroom and the other crapping on the idea of common decency.

Sorry, Powers, there’s a time and a place for people to make demand and it’s not in the ladies room. Trust me. I’ve tried. More important here you have Power shaming a woman for needing the bathroom while excusing bullying tactics of the left. This is from a woman who once said, “In our pugilistic take no prisoners era, preaching grace toward those on the other side of the political fence is decidedly counterculture.”

Yes, that’s one of Bauer’s quotes about grace. Turns out she’s about as graceful as Biden on a stair climber. One thing is for certain she’s got the mob behind her. The bullying of Sinema was cheered on on Twitter. But you think those who preach grace would challenge the mob, rather than handing them the pitch for us. That’s hardly Christ like. But once politics poisons minds, you have idiots justifying all sorts of extremism.

It’s a spectrum from confronting people at dinner to physically attacking them. We call that Antifa but they call it an idea. Meanwhile, angry moms and dads are treated like they’re placing IEDs in the faculty parking lot. The double standard is as palpable as the stench in a Capitol Hill men’s room. Take Kelly Paul, wife of Rand Paul writing, “A mob held us hostage for 10 minutes, spitting on us and threatening to kill us no charges.

Fake anthrax and death threats sent to our home, no charges. Now just learned the person who called ran senate office threatening to shoot us will not be charged.” I wonder Kirsten Powers thinks she had it coming. Hey, if you didn’t want to be threatened with death, maybe just stay out of the limelight. You know, return to the kitchen, keep your mouth shut. It’s so very Taliban. It’s amazing how much the female left have in common with those lady aiders.

And I’m not even talking about their sandals or beards. They both share that delight in coercion as a means to silence uppity women. The Taliban will stone a woman for showing an inch of ankle. The left will berate a politically moderate woman for showing an ounce of gumption. If there were any more Taliban, Biden would be sending them weapons.


GUTFELD: Let’s welcome tonight’s guests. Her parents came this close to naming her BMW. American Conservative Union Foundation’s Senior Fellow Mercedes Schlapp. He grew up on a raising farm and tonight he’s raising our I.Q.s. Senior fellow at the Hoover Institution and author of the great new book, The Dying Citizen, Victor Davis Hanson. He’s like a discount Martini. Dry and bullet cheap gin. Western owner David Angelo.

And she gives blood it’s served on the rocks with a salted rim. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf. All right. Before I get to you, Victor, I got to get some out of the way here. Dave, when you were last on the show you were the spokesman for this razor company. And now you kind of like work your way up the ladder and now you’re the owner. And like a couple of weeks. So I’m beginning to think that this isn’t a company, this is you with a P.O. box.

DAVID ANGELO, WESTERN RAZOR.COM OWNER: Well, we do have a P.O. Box. We get so much fan mail from satisfied customers who visit That we just had to expand capacity. Thank you for pointing that out.

GUTFELD: You couldn’t — you couldn’t hire somebody else to be the owner. And you’re the owner and spokesman. It’s just you and one razor. You only have one razor.

ANGELO: Now there’s many razors and they’re all available now. Greg, I appreciate you challenging.

GUTFELD: These are the — this is the caliber of guests that I get even at leading late night. Thank god, Victor, you’re here to save us from this evil man. We’re seeing this weird trend where we are decriminalizing crime and criminalizing basic citizens or basic decency. You have been talking about this and writing about this for years What is going on?

VICTOR DAVIS HANSON, HOOVER INSTITUTION SENIOR FELLOW: Well there is one consistency and that’s power and ideology. So when I was — 50 years ago I was a student and we all heard any means necessary and it was Frantz Fanon says this and (INAUDIBLE) says is and Malcolm X and then it was the ends justify the means kind of a watered down Machiavelli. So whether they swarm Rand Paul or whether Schumer goes outside the court with a mob and says we’re coming after you Gorsuch, that’s OK.

And it’s OK to go after Sinema.


HANSON: But it’s not OK if you’re a conservative and there is a consistency because people with superior morality feel that the means are justified because their ends are so much more noble, they’re intellectual, they’re enlightened and the rest of us the drags the chumps, the clingers, we just do what they tell us. And that’s the consistency its ideology and power the left. They don’t believe in a principle or consistency. And they’ve been pretty effective about it, Greg?

GUTFELD: Yes, it’s true because it seems to be growing. And it is because back to that old adage, I don’t know if it was Krauthammer but it was the – – we think they’re wrong. They think we’re evil.

HANSON: Right.

GUTFELD: And they — that justifies what whatever they do is if I think Mercedes is evil I can follow you into the bathroom but you know you’re not getting far —


MERCEDES SCHLAPP, AMERICAN CONSERVATIVE UNION FOUNDATION’S SENIOR FELLOW: I don’t think you can follow me. I might have to kick you with my boot, OK?


GUTFELD: She’s wearing a boot.


GUTFELD: You got a boots. Cameraman if you grab that. I mean, don’t actually literally grab it. What’s going on with the feminist women that are all Girl Power until it’s somebody — I mean, this — Sinema isn’t even Republican.

SCHLAPP: No. But she might to convert. Sinema might want to say you know what, I’m done with these Democrats. It’s appalling that not only the Democrat women won’t support Sinema in this case and that they allow for this bullying behavior. Mind you, they criticize Donald Trump for bullying behavior.

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SCHLAPP: Yet they themselves are adopting this bullying behavior. And wasn’t Joe Biden supposed to come in and bring decency and morality back to the White House? And he’s allowing for this to occur and not defending Sinema? I think it’s been an outrage.

GUTFELD: He’s building bullies better.

SCHLAPP: Oh, oh. I like that.


GUTFELD: David, that came to me. That’s why I’m here and you’re there selling razors.

ANGELO: We need a copywriter like you, Greg. You could come join the team.

GUTFELD: Do you have any openings?

ANGELO: Yes. I could work something out.


GUTFELD: Where would I have the job interview?

ANGELO: We can — we can arrange. You’re hired, Greg. You’re hired right here. You’re hired. I’ll send you — What is it? A 1099? What is —

GUTFELD: (INAUDIBLE) at this point.

ANGELO: It’s off the books.

GUTFELD: It’s off — just Kat’s.

ANGELO: Under the table.

GUTFELD: Yes. I get paid — I get paid for every razor you sell. All right. Do you have thought on this topic? I’m sure you do. You’re a smart guy.

ANGELO: Yes. Well, you know, I saw the video of Sinema in the bathroom and, you know, this big confrontation but actually was good that happened because, you know, Sinema, she’s angered the Democrats and that was the bathroom that Hillary chose to assassinate her in. And thankfully, they brought the camera in she didn’t have an opportunity saved her — Hillary was in the next stall with a piano wire. Ruined. Saved her life.

GUTFELD: That’s it. You know, no one’s talking about that. She couldn’t — she — that activist saved Kyrsten Sinema’s life.

ANGELO: That’s the thing. We always got to look for the other angles.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes. And like the angles on a face need a really good shaver.

ANGELO: Thank you, Greg. I appreciate it. That’s why — that’s why you’re a number one copywriter.

GUTFELD: Yes. I have a hard time with my Adam’s apple. I always get that little extra. I can’t get rid of it. I don’t know what to do. I’m considering a total gender change. Kat, so, you’re a woman and congratulations,



TIMPF: Thank you. I am. Yes.

GUTFELD: Where are — where do you — where are you — when you see — when you see people like Kyrsten or Joy saying that it’s OK to treat certain women this way but you better not do it to me obviously.

TIMPF: Right. I mean, the Jezebel article about it was so interesting because I — it’s OK to bully, you know, Kyrsten Sinema in the bathroom. I researched — I researched this, OK?


TIMPF: I did some research. I typed in street harassment, cat calling into There’s like 170 articles about how bad it is for people to comment on your body when you’re walking.


TIMPF: You would think that they would also think it’s bad for people to comment on your character while you’re pooping.


TIMPF: Like you think those would go together but you’d be wrong.

GUTFELD: I know.

TIMPF: And I am not someone who, you know, worries too much about social norms. I think that they hold us back. But the one where people don’t follow you in the bathroom and film you. I like that one.

GUTFELD: That’s a good one. Yes. I don’t — I don’t want to decriminalize that.

TIMPF: Yes. No. She better worry, you know, you just — she takes too long to, you know, respond to an e-mail.


TIMPF: That’s what she asked for said it’s OK.



GUTFELD: Excellent point. All right.

TIMPF: Thank you.

GUTFELD: You’re welcome. That was so unnecessary. Up next, was Hunter’s artsy bash an excuse (INAUDIBLE)


GUTFELD: His art belongs on a refrigerator door. Yet buyers are lining up for more. Yes. Hunter Biden held a big show for art made with straws likely used for blow. The President’s son — yes, the President’s son showcased his childlike doodles at a fancy gallery in L.A. last week, my invitation must have gotten lost in the cocaine. The Daily publishing exclusive pictures of the event confusing online readers who thought the art was a sign that they had glaucoma.

As many as 200 art enthusiasts and people serving paternity suits apparently showed up. That was a joke, people. You know, because he knocks up a lot of strippers.

TIMPF: Got it. Strippers. Yes.

GUTFELD: All right. It’s been widely reported that her pieces have been — his pieces have been priced as high as a half million. Or to put it in terms Hunter understands 508 balls and 300 hookers. It’s the new currency. True it’s the first time the gallery sold paintings by the outs. But his art no doubt raises a lot of eyebrows and cash for Viagra. We’re also told by the Biden administration that the identities of the buyers would never be revealed.

It’s literally the only private information the government doesn’t spy on. That we can’t say with certainty that we know who was duped into buying hunters work but the Daily Mail reports there was a horrible mayor, a long retired boxer and a guy who makes mediocre music and attendance. Meaning hunter must have something on all of them. But we got to wonder how his artwork would hold their value over time.



JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: Hey. What you got this time?

MACHI: I got used some hunter Biden artwork and cost me a half million. And now I’m ambassador to Ukraine, but I’ll polish it for you for 10 bones.


MACHI: Cash.

DEVITO: How seven bucks?

MACHI: Done.


GUTFELD: Now the ambassador of the Ukraine or Ukraine, I never know is that the Mercedes or Ukraine?

SCHLAPP: I think it’s just Ukraine.

GUTFELD: Well, what –how — why does everybody keep saying the Ukraine? Or is it just me? What’s going on, Mercedes? Doesn’t this event raise serious ethical questions?

SCHLAPP: Well, I’m hoping that they sell the Hunter Biden art so that they can help pay for the Democrats reckless spending bill in Congress. But I think, you know it — yes. I mean, the White House continues to fudge the answers on this. Uh-oh. We don’t want to get too close. We’re not involved. But then you find out that Hunter Biden still is holding assets with this Chinese company. So there are serious questions surrounding this.

Hunter Biden just attracts the flies. He attracts the very strange people. And quite frankly, it puts the White House in a very difficult position.

GUTFELD: Yes. But you know what, it wouldn’t be a difficult position professor, if he were a Republican, or his dad were Republican, but he’s not. So now it’s this shows like us that have a great segment out of it, but no one else pays attention.

HANSON: I have a theory about him. So he’s under the scrutiny and as Mercedes says he still holds this 10 percent of the company. And then he’s under a microscope. So he does this paint by numbers art scam. And you look at the e-mails, and he refers to the big guy and 10 percent. And then he winds that I’m the guy carrying the Biden family.


HANSON: And so I think he’s saying to us and to the President, I’m tired. I made you all this money, you didn’t report it. And what are you going to do about it? I’m going to keep scamming this. And you know what, I’ve got the goods on the whole family if you don’t like it, I’m going to go ballistic. And I think he’s kind of leveraging the President of the United States. That’s a great point because he was arguing in the e-mails about this.

HANSON: Yes, he was —


GUTFELD: If it wasn’t for me, dad wouldn’t have any dough.

HANSON: No, he was the one — you remember he was the wounded foreign. Poor me. I have to support this person and this person and the big guy in his 10 percent. And now we think he’s saying, I’m liberated. I can do whatever I want.

GUTFELD: He was the rainmaker and not just in the strip club. Kat, he’s basically doing spin art with his face, right? Because he’s using the straw. It’s children’s art. So imagine all of the artists that have toiled away for decades, who’ve never got a gallery opening and then this guy walks in with an opportunity like this without even knowing what he’s doing.

TIMPF: Right or the other drug addicts.


TIMPF: Like it’s every drug at extreme to get paid for their rehab art.


TIMPF: And then they don’t and then they relapse. Like, most people don’t have this advantage. I just don’t understand how anybody thinks that he’s not going to know who buys —


TIMPF: — his paintings. Because aren’t people going to put them up in their house?


TIMPF: Like, won’t people see it? Plus, I feel like nobody even gets new shoes anymore without posting on Instagram.


TIMPF: People are going to find out that’s just not a reasonable thing. But nobody will talk about it. Except again, for us to do a —

GUTFELD: Reality show, rehab art.




TIMPF: Every episode of intervention they’re like I get really into music, and I think I’m going to make that a thing.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes.

ANGELO: I’m going to be D.J. I’m going to be celebrity D.J.

GUTFELD: Yes. But first I have to throw up. That’s my art. I’ll make art out of vomit, David. If he — if Hunter could do it with his nose, where its mouth. Well, anyway, I’ve lost track of everything. You understand these sorts of scams running one yourself?

ANGELO: I mean, Hunter is a kindred spirit. You know. what I don’t get, who’s buying it because you’re not going to get influenced with Joe.


ANGELO: Joe doesn’t know what’s — you can’t — what’s — what time they’re going to sit down and tell here’s what you got to do. He’s not going to — he will be asleep.


ANGELO: If you — if you want influence you got to bribe the Joe’s teleprompter guy. 100 bucks, I can get him to say on national T.V. You know, there’s a stimulus program for guys named David. $10 million each.

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GUTFELD: Yes. That buys a lot of razors. You know what — I know we got to go but the celebrities who showed up were all dudes in the same — I bet they’re all in the same circle of Hunter — in Hunter’s activity and that’s why they were there, right? He’s got something on all of them. Right? If you’re in the little book, you know, the little book with the phone numbers, you know what I’m saying? Yes. You got nothing on that? You’re just going to nod —


ANGELO: Well, I was at the gallery. I should just say that.


GUTFELD: All right. Up next, Biden’s blissfully unaware about a deal France called unfair.


GUTFELD: John Kerry gives us the scoop that sleepy Joe’s out of the loop. Yes. Kerry does damage control in France while Biden wanders around without pants. Walking driftwood sculpture. John Kerry says President Biden wasn’t aware that the trilateral agreement between the U.S. the U.K. and Australia would anger France. Maybe because it was in French. The deal sunk a $40 million submarine contract between France and the Aussies and France temporarily recalled its ambassadors to the U.S. and Australia.

In response An angry Joe Biden immediately recalled our ambassador to Atlantis. Just kidding. Joe can’t recall anything. But anyway, apparently Old Joe had no clue the deal would piss off the French.



JOHN KERRY, U.S. SPECIAL PRESIDENTIAL ENVOY FOR CLIMATE: President Biden asked me about it and I told him, and expressed —

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You’re told Joe Biden that it was not the right —

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He asked me. He said, “What’s the situation?” And I explained exactly — he was, he had not been aware of that. He literally, literally had not been aware of what had transpired. And I don’t want to go into the details of it.


GUTFELD: Why bother at this point? Before hopping in his private jet that runs on panda blood, Kerry went on to say that the U.S. and France have bigger world issues to work on together at such as cyber warfare and climate change.

And if they’re worried about lost income, Kerry recommends marrying a rich widow. So, you can continue to fly on private jets, because that’s what he did. But then they concluded the interview with this fascinating nugget.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Also — sure, international diplomacy is important. And you know, I think climate change is the crucial issue of our lifetime. But not as crucial as Greg Gutfeld becoming the king of late night.

What he’s been able to accomplish in such a short time is as incredible and as beautiful as the Eiffel Tower, don’t you think?


GUTFELD: They think — who knew Kerry was a secret fan of the show? Thanks, John. But as for Biden being unaware of the deal, that seems odd, at the very least, right, Joe?


TOM SHILLUE, COMEDIAN: Look, look, look, I am on top of things, right? I know what’s going on. Just that this submarine deal was confusing. First of all, where I come from, we call them hoagies, right? Second of all, because — I mean, you got A.U., U.S., U.K., E.U., there’s too many letters, right? I gave it to Kerry. He’s good at the alphabet, I mean, he looks like a moppet.


GUTFELD: Kat, it raises a question. What else does Joe not know and when did he not know it?

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Yes. Well, politicians say that all the time. Well, I didn’t know or he didn’t know. In this case, I believe it.


TIMPF: But I also don’t know if that inspires confidence. If we’re trying to be you know, getting along better with France have confidence in us that he has no idea what’s going on. Why would you bother to talk to someone who doesn’t know what’s going on? I’ve tried, it doesn’t work very well.

GUTFELD: Yes. You know, Professor, do you think the Democrats actually like it this way: The less Joe knows, the better?

VICTOR DAVIS HANSON, HOOVER INSTITUTE SENIOR FELLOW: It’s hard to know. But you know, John Kerry, the operative words where I explained literally unaware, he’s always this pontificator.


HANSON: Remember when he was during the election, and he said, if you don’t educate, you’re not educated and go to college, we’re going to send you to Iraq.


HANSON: As if that was the worst of all fates. And remember during the Trump administration, he was always freelancing on the Iran deal, meeting Iranian. So, it’s always that he’s the hero and the intellectual master of everybody. So, yes, it was probably true that Biden didn’t know what was going on. But Kerry so exaggerates his own role. Remember he went over to China about climate change, and they put him in a room and said later — so he’s always the legend, in his own mind.

GUTFELD: To be fair, China thought he was actually a cabinet. Another great example is him going to France after the terrorist attack, bringing James Taylor.

HANSON: I remember that.

GUTFELD: Because that was his, that was his way of being a hero, right?


GUTFELD: They’re going to love me, because I’m going to bring James Taylor, which no one has ever said before, David. David, are you aware of what’s going on in your razor company? Is Joe Biden, like —

DAVID ANGELO, WESTERNRAZOR OWNER: I don’t know where I am right now. Joe Biden, obviously is confused. That’s not news.


ANGELO: We’ve known that. What I find interesting is France. The home of the Paris Climate Accord is like, we need to sell our diesel subs. But I prefer the, I prefer the French submarines, you know, because they got the ashtrays in there. Now, torpedoes they just fire baguettes. That’s what, that’s what they do. It’s true.

GUTFELD: Yes. And everything is done in the form of mime.

ANGELO: Mime. Silent. Yes, silent — that’s mime.

GUTFELD: It’s a very silent sub.

ANGELO: They paint hands on then it goes to the water.

GUTFELD: We should probably stop this.

ANGELO: You shouldn’t have started.

GUTFELD: Yes. Mercedes, do you, do you think Kerry is just stupid or was, was trying to trying to throw the president under the yacht?

MERCEDES SCHLAPP, FORMER WHITE HOUSE STRATEGIC COMMUNICATION DIRECTOR: Kerry wants to be in the news. He wants to be relevant again. So, my theory is that he must have said let me just throw the president under the bus, so that I can appear like I am the smartest one —


SCHLAPP: In the room. But when he did mention that you were King, I’ll just say it in Spanish —


SCHLAPP: There you go. What do you think? Pretty good, huh?

GUTFELD: We have no idea if that’s what she said. All right, we got more stuff. Coming up, professors push back when woke activists attack.


ANNOUNCER: “WOKE-APOCALYPSE.” Woke up like this? Whatever, Greg.

GUTFELD: Professors draw ire from the mindless woke choir. First in the lion pit, Geophysicist Dorian Abbott, I thought I was the only one. He was supposed to give a guest lecture at a community college known as MIT, but they canceled caving to a small but vocal Twitter mob that disagreed with his views on diversity. He told Fox about it earlier.


DORIAN ABBOT, GEOPHYSICS PROFESSOR: It was a criticism of my political positions and an attempt to cancel my talk. Because I didn’t agree politically with the activists. We need to all strive to get the politics out of science.


GUTFELD: So, what did the mob disagree with exactly? His diabolical view that college students be treated as individuals and evaluated on merit. I know. Not as a means to an end where statistics matter more. Imagine that, MIT arguing against merit, math, and statistics. Soon, they’ll only be known for their football team.

Meanwhile, the San Jose State anthropology professor’s tweet pissed off the Bay Area woke. They weren’t happy. She was smiling, and joking with an ancient skull. No, it wasn’t this one.

This one once had a brain in it. Here’s the real picture.

The mob said she didn’t take into account the feelings of the descendants of the cradled cranium. They’re going to flip when they find out about weekend at Bernie’s. Even a top administrator collects his pearls saying this picture evoked, “Shock and disgust.” But she’s not backing down telling the local paper — I love local papers. This really is about a woke activist mob, rather than any real legit arguments. Science is more important than sensitivities. We caught up with the professor to get his thoughts.


KYLE ST. CROISSANT, PROFESSOR OF NUMBERS: Yes, no, we’re taking on the systems on behalf of the victims. OK, I’m creating a safe and inclusive space. We’re reimagining these marginalized communities who’ve had their opportunities sidelined. And yes, I teach math. But when it comes to justice in this country, something just doesn’t add up. Oh, my gosh, my very own Professor patches. I want to thank all the men and women who made this possible way. I mean, a generic — persons, humans —


GUTFELD: Professor, you, you’re at the Hoover Institution, at Stanford, a little bit different. How do you survive? And do you sense that a tide can ever turn?

HANSON: Yes, you know, professors are like the French, most of them are cowards. I shouldn’t say that after, I mean, I wrote about Verdun, so I that was a bad joke. But when you do meet, meet a French patriot, they’re the most courageous people in the world. And I’ve met some of the most courageous people very small percentage in academia.

So, they’re very inspirational when they take on the dean and the whole faculty. At Hoover, we’re in a process of transition everywhere in academia is but what really, I think is inspiring, I’ve got colleagues so Neil Ferguson or Scott Atlas, and we’re so — you have kind of a cadre where we’re saying we’re not going to give an inch but this, I think the woke thing is sort of peaking we’re at peak woke now.

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Because if this continues, it’s not sustainable. You can’t have an open border; you can’t have race dominating every conversation. You can’t discriminate to stop discrimination; you can’t practice racism to stop. The irony is that the French are mad at us, you know, for this.


HANSON: And they were the ones that gave us Lacan and, and Derry (INAUDIBLE) — started it all off in some ways as postmodern madness, and now, we vomited it back to them as we always do, and they’re very angry about it.

GUTFELD: Yes, they’re like, we don’t want this stuff. It’s like, well, you gave it to us. It’s like you gave us this illness and now we’re giving it back to you and you’re like, whoa, dude, we’re not that French.

Kat, you went to college, right?

TIMPF: I sure did.

GUTFELD: It was 20-30 years ago.

TIMPF: Yes, I’m very old.

GUTFELD: You’re a sage. OK, do you agree with the professor that maybe we’ve reached peak woke when you see professors, you know taking stance? I

TIMPF: Yes, I hope so. And just the skull lady. I feel like we need more. I mean, look at our culture. We are far too prude about human remains. I’m serious. See, listen to like, you can’t say human remains. I was — all remains, actually —

GUTFELD: Really.

TIMPF: I was having my dad saw my dad this weekend. We’re having a nice father-daughter conversation. And I calmly explained to him that when my cat dies, I want to get him cremated, and the ashes sterilized and tattooed into my body. And you know what he’s — yes, you can do that. Do you know what he said?


TIMPF: “Katherine, if you love me, please wait until I die.” Why? What happened to my body? My — Kat’s body, my choice.

GUTFELD: Yes, there you go.

TIMPF: I’m going to get a bumper sticker.

GUTFELD: Yes, why didn’t you just start with a bumper sticker?

TIMPF: First, I need a car.

GUTFELD: And think about it. Yes, you need a — yes.

SCHLAPP: I’m not sure the cat would like that, Kat.

TIMPF: Have you talked to him because I have.


TIMPF: After he dies.

SCHLAPP: After. After.

GUTFELD: Yes. All right, Mercedes, do you think the tide can turn?

SCHLAPP: Look, it’s going to be tough, but what you’re starting to see is the rise of some conservative colleges like Hillsdale College and several others that students are going to because they need a place where they feel there could be this debate. The problem is, is not just stemming from the professors, but the students as well. It starts young it starts really young.

In fact, when you have Sesame Street calling Hispanic Heritage Month, OK, and I’m going to Latino calling Latin X Heritage Month. Are you kidding me? Like the Spanish language is all bad based on L and La? Yes, like you don’t mess with it. And so, I just feel that we’re not quite there yet. Because I do think that the indoctrination starts so early with these kids, and the Democrats and the left mob has said they have successfully tried to change our language.


SCHLAPP: A limit, making sure we talk about pronouns.


SCHLAPP: Making sure that we talk about well, they’re — well, we can’t be he she because then we’re really Latin X, and so it’s like, what are we?


SCHLAPP: And that is where we from the right and the conservatives need to push back and literally save our language, save our country and stop the wokeness in this country.

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GUTFELD: Yes, it’s funny, the opposite of education isn’t ignorance, it’s indoctrination.

SCHLAPP: That’s right.

GUTFELD: David, you, you’re a comedian. Do you still perform on — you got a chuckle out of that; do you perform on campuses? Do you find any resistance to your edgy humor? Your razor-sharp wit?

ANGELO: You know, the kids love me. I’m connecting with Gen-Z. You know, I’m out there I’m getting jiggy with it you know? I speak the language —


ANGELO: They love me.

GUTFELD: You do.


GUTFELD: I love your grunge look.

ANGELO: Yes, you know, everything, everything about me he’s just perfect for colleges. Please book me. Contact your student advisor, bring me to campus. I’m just selling everything tonight.


ANGELO: Now, look, I know, wokeness kind of stuff, is generally speaking, a selectively applied low voltage reign of terror.


ANGELO: We all know that.


ANGELO: But I disagree with you, Kat.

TIMPF: Oh, really?

ANGELO: The skull stuff. Guys, I was in one of these museums vegan how they have the, the pharaohs mm hmm they got the whole mummy there.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes, they do.

ANGELO: They didn’t pack that guy up 2,000 years ago to be in the museum on Fifth Avenue.

bunch of tourists and cargo shorts walking around getting that’s not what that money was there for? I don’t know I think they I think you got to go just because it’s you’ve been dead a thousand years, you don’t you don’t become Halloween decorations.

TIMPF: But what do you think about me tattooing my cat’s ashes into my body.

ANGELO: All right, I support that.

TIMPF: Thank you.

GUTFELD: Just shows how two different sides can come together. And I for one am bringing people together from all different sides. People who want the rights of mummies to be preserved and just back crazy girls.

TIMPF: I think it’s beautiful. We can be together forever.

GUTFELD: No, God, help me.

SCHLAPP: It’s why you’re the king. I’m telling you, you’re the king.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes, yes, and why we have to get some kind of psychiatry. Up next, COVID’s unexpected side effect that could leave your butt or wrap.


ANNOUNCER: Holy crap! What the hell is next?

GUTFELD: This new COVID complaint sounds heinous. A pain right in your anus.

Yes, COVID effects grow less sphincter says the ache in his sphincter.

He’s stuck in a COVID rut with a bad feeling in his butt.

A matter of port adage Japan is now linking something called restless anal syndrome to COVID-19.

So maybe we were putting a mask on the wrong orifice?

What is restless anal syndrome? I think we have a picture of it. Oh, come on you guys. That is too easy. Do we have a real picture of restless anal syndrome?

That’s more like it. Of course, the report cites only one man who experienced an essential urge to move his bowels and anal pain after recovering from COVID. But we’re still covering it here because it had the word anus in it.

Sadly, he spent more time in the bathroom than jerks harassing Kyrsten Sinema. Oh, that’s the end of it? Mercedes, you told me this was the story you look forward to what are your thoughts?

SCHLAPP: Really, I said that? I didn’t even know what restless anal syndrome was.

TIMPF: You put your boot on, you’re like: I got it. I got it.


SCHLAPP: We got to talk about this.

GUTFELD: You weren’t even going to do the show until your heard about it.

SCHLAPP: Well, I got to tell you, I want to ask Dr. Fauci, because doesn’t Dr. Fauci have the answer to every single COVID problem that we have?


SCHLAPP: Let’s ask him if he has restless anal syndrome, because I really think he does.

GUTFELD: Professor, after certain age, doesn’t everybody have restless anal syndrome?

HANSON: I’m 68, so I don’t want to answer that. But, Dr. Fauci you mentioned, so he wants this, if you have had COVID and the science says it’s superior immunity to a vaccination, but you still should be vaccinated so you’re supposed to have a double identity I don’t understand so I’ve been vaccinated, but I didn’t get COVID so now I’m supposed to go out and get COVID? So that I have both?


SCHLAPP: And you get restless anal syndrome with it. Great.

GUTFELD: Way to bring it back to the topic that he was trying to escape, because he didn’t want to ruin his reputation. Talk freely about renal, renal syndrome — rectal anal syndrome.

ANGELO: I am so thankful I do not know what this is. So, you know, I just wish the guy luck to be perfectly honest.

TIMPF: I’m glad we did this story because I was like, you know what, I don’t have to think about my butthole that much and I don’t think enough about how what a blessing that is.

GUTFELD: I just brought, put this story on for one reason and one reason only. It was pitched to me nearly every day by a few people on this show: producers, in fact. Every day. And I’m going, why are they pitching this story to me? Is it because they think I want this story in here? And I thought, you know what, I’m just going to do it. Not to be a pain in the butt, but — Don’t go away, we’ll be right back.


GUTFELD: We have time for one more thought Victor, you have a new book tell us where we can get and what it is.

HANSON: Yes. It’s called “A Dying Citizen” and it was out Tuesday. It’s at Amazon and most bookstores. And all the things we’ve been talking about this chaos, I think it has one theme and that’s the citizenship and the citizen is dying.

GUTFELD: All right. Thank you, Victor Davis Hanson, Mercedes Schlapp, David Angelo, Kat Timpf, our studio audience. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with evil Shannon Bream is next. I’m Greg Gutfeld and I love you, America.

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