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This is a rush transcript of “Gutfeld!” on June 15, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
STEPHEN COLBERT, CBS HOST: I also want to give a shout out to the man whose office worked with us for months, right? To get us back in the theater tonight. That’s New York Governor Andrew Cuomo. He’s not here tonight but he asked me to read this note. If you remember me for one thing this year, let it be bringing back the late shows audience. That’s it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Wow. It only took eight months to make a joke about Cuomo. I wasn’t done yet, but I can’t wait to hear you stick it to Herbert Hoover.
Going to be a good night. I could tell. Happy Tuesday, friends. Another great show on its way. Well, compared to the competition, sorry Daily Show.
We’re taking a three-month hiatus. We have the brilliant Emily Compagno with it — with us. There she is. I’m glad she was able to make it although she had a rough time at the airport.
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EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: I assure you.
GUTFELD: You know, you represent the company now, Emily.
COMPAGNO: You’re going to get fired.
GUTFELD: Looks like — looks like the drinks outnumbered you. And we have Joe DeVito who had an interesting way of getting to work.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
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GUTFELD: Yes. Nothing like laughing at somebody suffering. Wow. And Kat’s back after her supervised probation. As the police said she’s OK to return to work just hide all the hand sanitizer. It’s been said some cats have nine lives. But when your dad is a Democrat supported by the press, multiply that by a thousand and you have Hunter Biden. Fresh off tossing the N-word around like one of his empty crack pipes.
What does the media choose to focus on? His new life as a full time painter. I can’t blame him. No one can say he isn’t qualified to paint what looks like hobo vomit. Now, they won’t allow us to show the actual paintings. But trust me, it looks like hobo vomit. I live in New York. I know what hobo vomit looks like. It looks like Hunter Biden paintings. But I get the new occupation fully.
Paying a guy a fortune for a job he has no qualifications in is harder to explain than buying hobo vomit from a Chinese businessman. I don’t think I’m going to say hobo vomit again. But rather than focus on that stuff, Artnet assesses him as a controversial figure who has been vilified by the right and uncomfortably ignored by the left which absolves him of any culpability. This is not about his crimes, the guns or drugs and strippers, the smears he made against others.
No, Hunter just wants to talk about the art. And Jeffrey Dahmer really preferred questions about his poetry. It really could rhyme. Because as Artnet says it’s art and for Biden, everything is connected. Except of course his laptop. But that is the word, connected. Hunter is Joe’s son connected to a lifelong Democrat who knows how to grease the wheels of influence and the tracks on his Acorn Stairlift.
It’s a little too close to home, isn’t it, audience? I mean, forget Hunter’s N-words for a moment. Though it’s hard. The guy thinks he’s the love child of Eazy-E and Michael Scott. The real racist act was when Hunter referred to two Mexican grocery store workers as “prolly illegal.” He was prolly too hammered to pronounce probably. While being questioned about a missing gun that was dumped in a trash can near that store, Hunter tried to shift the attention on to two innocent people referring to their immigration status.
If this was any more racist, it would be a segregated water fountain. But it’s Hunter who gets more free passes than a losing gambler at a casino buffet. And now he’s on a personal quest for universal truth. Well, here’s the truth. Up until recently, Hunter had been living in a $5.4 million house who knew crack addicts could be so successful. I got in the wrong line of work. But he moved claiming he was being harassed by evil right wingers.
But that could be pissed off strippers looking for child support. Often they look alike. His artwork is set to go from 75-grand to half a million dollars a pop. I heard he gave a landscape painting to his dad. And Joe is convinced it’s another window in his bedroom. That’s funny. Anyway, that amount of money can buy a lot of straws, which by the way, is how Hunter paints blowing through a straw. It’s — I’m not joking. It’s a great excuse when the cops show up.
Sorry, officer. Those are paintings of snow covered mountains. So, why should you care? Well, today we are inundated with endless examples of racism. It’s in our cartoons, our foods, our clothing, even our denials of racism is racist. There’s a bigot under every bed. Three if you sleep on a king size, it’s a great distraction. If you focus on the guy in the MAGA then you’re less likely to hit Joe Biden for his corrupt nepotism.
See the red hat, ignore the corrupt brat. To save his son he’ll throw an entire country under the bus using the phrase systematically racist. And so we’re in the middle of an unholy collaboration between whacked out activists and a whacked out president. Nitro meat glycerin. You see this with corporations, the new woke extremism keeps everyone busy. You know, you’re less likely to point out that corporations do business with countries that tie 12 year olds to work benches for 14 hours when you’re getting paid by that corporation to teach anti-racism to the workforce.
See how it works? Places like North Face can continue to make stuff out of petroleum, Shake Shack and buy slaughtered cattle for meat. The CIA could still operate under cover ops, but as long as you fly that pride flag or that BLM flag, well, most likely made in China by the way. You’re good.
Corporate virtue signaling is like a bullfighter’s cape. While you look at the twirling cape, he stabs you. I wonder what the angry white male has to say.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TOM SHILLUE, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: It’s a mystery to me. But I got to respect its power over that film Titanic. When the guy Jack asked Rose to take her clothes off so he can sketch her, she just does it. So that I thought to myself, I should have taken art and sit a shop class. You know how many tables got to make to get a woman to take her clothes off?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: The answer is 37. Meanwhile, Hunter’s laptop languishes, a reminder of how the media, tech giants, democrats colluded to bury a bombshell of a story to help daddy win. The connections in this case really worked for both dad and son. There’s some crazy (BLEEP) in there, but the press can’t touch it. Because then it incriminates them and the cover up.
Meanwhile, Hunter keeps playing the torture genius game.
Masking himself as an injured party to create a shield of sympathy for his sleazy actions. It’s a clever tactic. But he doesn’t have to work that hard. He’s got a dad that protects him. And a media that looks the other way. Except, you know, when he’s painting.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.
GUTFELD: Let’s welcome tonight’s guests. She’s supported accused criminals as a defense attorney and Raiders cheerleader. Great intro. “OUTNUMBERED”
co-host, Emily Compagno. She’s an expert on disgust and sexuality. So, she’s here for research purposes. evolutionary psychologist Diana Fleischman. He’s the perfect comic for clubs at 30 percent capacity, writer and comedian, Joe DeVito. And her last name is polis for talks too much.
Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf.
So Emily, glad you showed up this time.
COMPAGNO: Ah. Made it early.
GUTFELD: Yes. Are you — are you living here now? Are you still sleeping on the curvy couch in studio J?
COMPAGNO: Today I slept on two chairs pushed together in the office. So yes, I’m not living her permanently.
GUTFELD: That’s great. So what’s wrong with capitalizing on your notoriety?
Anthony Weiner is selling non-fungible tokens of his sleazy text. Shouldn’t Hunter start selling his crack pipes?
COMPAGNO: I mean, that’s a whole other art discussion.
COMPAGNO: But to me, I just — he has had more job titles than a millennial. And now all of a sudden he’s selling universal truth through his paintbrush of like my left foot.
COMPAGNO: I smell a rat. This guy who’s going to — it’s like the Emperor’s New Clothes, who is going to tell him besides you that his art absolutely sucks? And not coincidentally, we know that the art industry is the largest league unregulated industry in the country. Everyone launders money through it. So, I foresee this guy having a ton of Chinese buyers or maybe just one for millions of dollars.
And of course, the media is fawning all over him. So like the press that he’s been getting, like he described his whole day, it was like he gets up at 5:00 and has a cup of coffee before his son wakes up. And then he stares at a blank canvas. I’m like, yes, because he sucks. A real artist probably wouldn’t sit there staring at the blank canvas. It’s like he’s never had formal training in his life. But he’s been making art since he was three.
That’s what you call childhood. It took him two years, they said to do a self-portrait because he was busy at the strip clubs and avoiding child support. So for me, my eyes are not big enough for the eye roll this deserves.
GUTFELD: Wow. Emily, you came to play. I want to get on your bad side.
Although that’d be interesting. Diana, you’re an evolutionary psychologist.
So when I look at somebody like Hunter, I always feel like there’s this weird, clever evolutionary practice going on where a predator masks itself as an injured party like I’m a — I’m an injured bird. So the little cat comes over and then I jump up and I strangle the cat. Is that what Hunters doing?
DIANA FLEISCHMAN, EVOLUTIONARY PSYCHOLOGIST: Certainly, people are able to exploit other people by pretending to be harmed beings. But I totally disagree about this interpretation about Hunter because I think that given the nepotism he’s been given this is the least harmful way he could be using it, right? He could be in charge of a government somewhere or a state position. And he’s just making art at home blowing through straws instead of sucking through the night, he usually does.
GUTFELD: Yes. Yes. Imagine if you got confused one day. Starts snorting paint and blowing cocaine all over the place. All of his druggie friends would hate him. Didn’t you hate that when the guy would spill all the coke?
Can I say that? Cola, Coca-Cola. Joe, what are your thoughts on this? Would you pay for one of these masterpieces?
JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: No, they’re asking thousands of dollars. And the only way it’s worth that is he sneezes on it and launches some coke boogers onto the cans. Well, I don’t think we should complain too much about his painting because we’ve heard about his videos. So at least this is a different medium for him to work in.
DEVITO: They’re really bad. I mean, you’ve seen hotel paintings?
DEVITO: These aren’t even motel paintings. These are — these are paintings, they should put them at the southern border and migrants would see them and get so depressed they would turn around and head back.
GUTFELD: What a perfect idea for the wall.
DEVITO: Just —
GUTFELD: There’s nothing but Hunter Biden. Actually that would be a great idea for all paintings, right? Just make the wall, just a big like the longest largest gallery on Earth. Would that be great?
DEVITO: you should see his macaroni necklaces.
DEVITO: Very talented.
GUTFELD: Yes. I made a lot of those in camp. You know, Kat. I don’t know where you are. I actually don’t think the paintings aren’t that bad. But then what do I know?
KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: Don’t say that about my friend, Greg. I mean, well, the sex stuff I’m not bothered by. I don’t care what anyone does their sex life, whether they’re sex workers, anyone else, as long as my husband’s not involved in that case, at least two people need to die. But when it comes to the paintings, I disagree with you, Emily. I think that there is a universal truth that is expressed by these paintings when I look at them, and I know how much that they’ll likely be sold far.
And that is that if you have a rich, powerful dad, you will have a far easier life than other crackheads.
GUTFELD: Yes, that is true.
COMPAGNO: I support that universe.
COMPAGNO: I agree.
GUTFELD: Although there is — there is something about him being a really successful crackhead that makes me rethink crack. The audience isn’t with me on that.
TIMPF: Yes. Based on how much I vape, I don’t — I think if I tried crack, you’d — no one would ever see me again.
DEVITO: This painting should all be entitled, Do You Know Who My Dad Is?
GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.
TIMPF: That’s the universal truth.
DEVITO: Universal truth.
GUTFELD: Yes. All right. We got more. Up next, a new victim emerges in the Chrissy Teigen cyber bullying saga.
GUTFELD: The leading cause of suicide is depression. The second leading cause could be direct messages from Chrissy Teigen. On the same day, Teigen apologize for her online bullying. Fashion designer Michael Costello reveals that Teigen harassed him nearly to the point of suicide. On Instagram Castello explained how Tiegs reveled in destroying his career based on a phony meme.
Writing “She apparently formed her own opinion of me based on a photoshopped comment floating around the internet, which has now been proven to be false by Instagram and since taken down. She told me that my career was over and that all my doors will be shut from there on. I didn’t see the point of living.” Costello also shared a direct message purportedly from Teigen where she told him “Racist people like you deserve to suffer and die. You might as well be dead. Your career is over. Just watch.”
Wait, that doesn’t sound like her at all. So far, Chrissy hasn’t challenged these new allegations. But to what extent is social media to blame? Should the permanence of the internet make it impossible to free yourself and pass down comments? Not so much for Teigen who’s an awful, awful creep. But for the millions of idiot kids who deserve not to have old posts, follow them into adulthood.
By the way, that’s why I avoid making dumb comments online and save them for this show. You know, it’s like my uncle used to say to me when I was a kid, when I was working on the farm. Greg, that’s not what the goats are for. I don’t know why everybody’s laughing at that. All right. So, again, I always — I always go to you Diana because you are the scientist. This is somebody who already has high status.
She’s married to a famous singer. She was a famous model. She had the power to either elevate or denigrate. What is the evolutionary reason? What is the biological reason for being so awful when you don’t have to be it? I’m at a loss like why choose evil?
FLEISCHMAN: I don’t know what the history with her in this man is. But, you know, even you know, Putin has to kill his enemies in order to, you know, succeed more, he has already succeeded. You could say he owns a whole country, what else does he possibly need to do? So even very powerful people will try and punish their enemies or denigrate people in order to cement their power to show people look, I’m powerful enough to end your career and to punish you. So don’t cross me.
FLEISCHMAN: And, you know, we don’t know to what extent this kind of behavior was what led to her success to begin with.
FLEISCHMAN: So, we often say these kinds of people can’t possibly be successful. But often these kinds of tactics are how people climb the status hierarchy. And she in terms of bullying has been given this veneer it’s OK to bully people if they’re racist.
FLEISCHMAN: And if the racism is found out later to be untrue, so she can be as horrible she wants to be because if somebody’s racist commit suicide, that’s totally fine. Because that’s justified.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes, that’s true. Kat, Isn’t she a whore rebel person? Right.
Horrible — isn’t she a horrible person?
TIMPF: She is a horrible person. And so much of this narrative is how could this social justice warrior been a bully? It’s like, duh, because they all are. They —
TIMPF: And I’m — and I’m not talking obviously about people who, you know, want to see progress on issues like racism, sexism, people to be nice to each other. Talking about people who want to cancel people over a single comment and think that progress doesn’t matter because one mistake means you’re awful and you should just die. And she has been very publicly the ladder for so long.
TIMPF: She’s obviously this vindictive person that gets pleasure out of taking other people down. Is — this shouldn’t be shocking to anybody. And I wish people could learn that this is what’s driving so many people who have this whole social justice warrior thing.
TIMPF: Again, if you want to make important points about progress, that’s fine but if you want to see someone cancelled, destroyed and never being able to participate in society again because they said something dumb when they were 16, you’re probably not a nice person.
GUTFELD: No, you’re not. You know, Joe, did — to Kat’s point about the — his attack — her attack on Frank Costello, the designer, this was a — actually this guy reached out and pleaded with her.
GUTFELD: And she delighted in his suffering. Like he reached out in the hardest situation possible. And she said she bat — somebody reaching your hand out for help and she batted it down, that expresses to Kat’s point, the mob mentality or the lust for power that you find in the worst people.
DEVITO: Yes. What — you know, she talks about I was a troll. That’s not trolling what she did. She reached out to people through direct messages.
DEVITO: That’s not trolling.
DEVITO: She’s issued this apology but she’s issued apologies before and she even did a big goodbye and living Twitter and she was gone for about 15 minutes.
DEVITO: So what we’re seeing is she’s a, you know, I’m a bit of a scientist myself. This is the kind of pure narcissism that’s rewarded on social media because if you look at her apology, it goes on and on. And it just says, I, I, I.
DEVITO: And I guarantee within a week it’s going to turn into, the story is not going to be the people she was cruel to. It’s going to be, look what — how much I’ve learned from the journey I price off on. Aren’t I amazing how much I’ve grown?
GUTFELD: And the book will be called X Troll.
GUTFELD: And it’ll be Chrissy Teigen’s growth from, you know, the darkest part of her life. This rejuvenated thing. OK. Here’s a quote — I just — this question came to me and I don’t know if you have the answer. Where is her husband? If my wife was doing this stuff. It’s so funny.
COMPAGNO: Well —
TIMPF: — she was doing this stuff and I can’t.
GUTFELD: No. Elena has never tweeted in her life.
GUTFELD: But when you — if your — the husband was doing this, Emily, you’d be like, get the — well, I almost said a swear word (BLEEP)
COMPAGNO: Well, first of all, I think it’s pretty clear who wears the pants in that family and it’s her. So he’s probably not doing anything but making brilliant music in the side room while she like overlords her empire. But you guys, I see her, she is like that demon. Remember the new Snow White where the Evil Queen had to like suck up people’s beauty in order to be more beautiful herself, like she is beyond the vile and vicious and vindictive of just your average troll.
This is an awful human being because she did ruin Michael Costello’s career. He said that for years after —
GUTFELD: Yes. He did.
COMPAGNO: — he would get jobs only to then be ghosted. This was like Harvey Weinstein level sabotage. This person’s life, this is his professional livelihood was absolutely ruined. And hers as far as I’m concerned is still smooth sailing. She lost a couple contracts. Sure, but she’s still on —
COMPAGNO: I mean, she’s still on the cover of magazines. She still has what, millions of followers. I mean, I don’t — I don’t see yet what the accountability is but the fact that she told nine year olds to kill themselves, there has to be accountability beyond her just continuing —
GUTFELD: Did you say 15-year olds?
COMPAGNO: Yes. And 16 year olds. Lindsay Lohan add more slits to your wrist. She is a monster.
GUTFELD: Yes. You know what, I have to say this before we go. So I got an e-mail. I don’t know how many years ago about this story. About — because I talked about how much I like Project Runway and I was watching it. So I get this e-mail from somebody telling me this story about Frank Costello and that he’s being ruined and destroyed. And I remember going like, I don’t want to get in the middle of this because I can’t — because he’s been accused of racism.
And I didn’t want like, you know, what? Do I come out and defend this guy?
I don’t know. Maybe he is a racist. And it was like — he was like kryptonite, and the guy, and the person who reached out either was a friend of his or something, saying this is like really, really bad. And I did nothing. Because what could I do?
COMPAGNO: Right. People talk about toxic masculinity, men wanting to beat each other up. This is actually the core of what I could call toxic femininity.
COMPAGNO: Which is women mean girling other people, you know, gossiping, saying horrible things about people who are their enemies and totally disenfranchising them and ostracizing them.
COMPAGNO: And this is actually one of the core aspects of the social justice movement, is this kind of aggression is totally accepted.
GUTFELD: Not just the core value of social justice movement, but also the bachelorette. I guess or the bachelor. I can’t remember which one has the most girls in it.
TIMPF: The Bachelor.
COMPAGNO: The Bachelor event.
GUTFELD: Oh, OK. No wonder I get so confused watching it. Up next. A woman says the woke make it seem like she’s back in a communist regime.
GUTFELD: She escaped Pyongyang, and now fears the woke gang. Did I say it right? I know — a North Korean refugee said she always thought the United States was the land of the free and then she went to college here. Yeonmi Park, did I do it? Told Fox News that she attended Columbia University assuming she would enjoy a prestigious education, only to feel like she was being forcibly indoctrinated.
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YEONMI PARK, NORTH KOREAN HUMAN RIGHTS ACTIVIST: I realized, wow, this is insane. And like I literally thought, I thought America was that different.
And I just saw so much similar logic that I saw in North Korea, and I was started worrying about this country.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Park said there were many moments like hearing all of her professors blame white men for every problem in the world. That sounded exactly what she might hear in North Korea. And like in the fear she experienced over accidentally using an incorrect pronoun to the terrorists, she felt over saying the wrong thing in the oppressive regime she fled as a teenager. What really scares her? The students’ reaction.
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PARK: And when they just dying to give their rights and power to government, that is like what scares me the most.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: So, sometimes it takes someone who’s suffered on the other side of the world to see what we’re losing here. Here are students are getting their minds poisoned faster than an opponent of Vladimir Putin. And how ironic is it that students want to wishing to be free, but their speech restricted? You know, it’s like when Abe Lincoln once said to his wife, Mary Todd, stop chewing so loudly you will bag or I’ll strangle you.
She didn’t say that. I think we’d have to do a correction on Friday. Yes, OK, I read the wrong I read the wrong book. Kat, maybe she just doesn’t understand oppression. Maybe it’s the professors that understand more than her?
TIMPF: Right, like just because she fled this horrible regime and was held captive by human traffickers for two years. It’s not like she ever had to hear somebody refer to a group of people as you guys. Or something like that is like, obviously, and if college were how it should be. How much could people have learned from her and she wasn’t too afraid to share her experience. So true is that this is what you’re supposed to learn these open discussions, you obviously could have learned some things about oppression from her. But she was too afraid of accidentally calling someone the wrong pronoun, because English was her third language.
GUTFELD: It’s such a good point. It’s such a good point. Diana, you, you are in the belly of the beast. Not like the guy that got swallowed by a whale. Yes, yes, yes. But to Kat’s point immigrants, no one is going to no one’s preparing immigrants for this. They don’t — so they’re learning a third language or a second language, and now this is the fourth language which is this Bizarro lexicon from the woke?
DIANA FLEISCHMAN, EVOLUTIONARY PSYCHOLOGIST: Yes, I mean, immigrants want to come to the United States, because this is the best country to live in, and they are looking for a better life. And so nobody admires immigrants for that particular attitude. Nobody, as you said is looking to her to say what is oppression? Like? What are some pitfalls of your government that we can avoid in our government? And also, you know, the woke lexicon changes constantly.
It’s always shifting. Words are constantly invented, and retired; words that you’re not allowed to use anymore. And this just completely disenfranchises people who are learning English as a second or third language, who are the people who are coming here to try to find a better life. And I don’t think people are really considering how that disenfranchises people who are not speaking English as fluently as people in the core of the social justice movement.
GUTFELD: Introducing “they” to somebody who’s learning pronouns in a second language is like a crime. I mean, how are you going to explain this stuff, Emily? It’s like they go like, wait a minute, I thought they was for plural. No, no, no, they is actually for a separate identity. It’s like they suck.
EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: Yes. And in California, in certain realms, that’s a misdemeanor. I mean, it’s not even like you’re not just threatened with canceled culture or getting kicked out of classroom.
She’s literally been threatened with a misdemeanor.
The entire thing I found so profound and especially her point about how like all of the analogies or like the problems that were used, like in North Korea, she said how it was like, you know, how many how many American bastards can you kill with like five bullets or whatever.
And then here, it was like the only good old white man is a dead old white man. Like it’s literally the same to another. And she was like, I basically haven’t moved at all. It’s absolutely frightening. But the worst part to me is the fact that this will get an iota of the amplification that if the professor had used the wrong pronoun that that story would get. Yes,
GUTFELD: Exactly. Jordan Peterson was right, by the way, when he added this when he stood up to this stuff, and he got canceled and now he’s, he’s a good he’s a good role model for this sort of thing. But I go back to this, this ugly thing about revolution, it’s always started in achieved by a tiny minority of people, because everybody else is scared.
JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: It’s bad because what they’re counting on is most decent people saying, all right, I don’t want to rock the boat. And this weird manipulation of language unconcerned that you said misdemeanor. It might not even be a misdemeanor anymore; that sounds like gendered language. Yes. That could be them demeanor program. Yes. Yes. And I don’t like when they change they because they read stories.
And I’m like, who’s this other guy? Yes. But that’s, that’s part that’s part of the scam. The part of the scam to keep changing language that you never know what you’re saying, so you don’t know how to express what you’re trying to get across anymore. And the fact that she, she lived in what is close to hell on earth, as we have on this planet, and she there’s no oppression like Ivy League oppression, right?
Where she can be in the cafeteria and have students complain that Taco Tuesday is cultural appropriation. Yes. When she had a crawl across fields just to get the hell out of North Korea. So yes, I think I think Kat’s absolutely right, that they should take a lesson from this extremely brave, and iron-willed person. And look how easy we have it.
You know, we have fat people saying they’re oppressed. Yes. Do you know how hard it is and the animal kingdom to just even get fat in the first place?
It’s something that’s only happened within the past 50 years and large numbers of any organism could become overweight, and now they are saying they are oppressed. Unbelievable.
GUTFELD: They’re oppressed by their pants. All right, I don’t even know what that means. I’m oppressed by my pants. What’s going on anymore? Up next, as crime continues to explode, our leaders continue to implode.
GUTFELD: Is Biden’s anti-terror action merely a convenient distraction?
This week, the White House unveiled the plan to combat domestic terrorism, it involves spending $100 million next year to add more bodies at the Department of Justice and the Department of Homeland Security, and at Biden’s request, the Department of Ice Cream.
Meanwhile, in San Francisco, a guy walked into a Walgreens with his bike filled up a bag of stuff and then calmly rode away, of course, in San Fran he’s more likely to get arrested for the bag being plastic. Now, there’s video of it, but I guess the person who shot it had second thoughts about letting T.V. shows broadcast it. So, we hired a very expensive artists to create a rendering of the incident. Here it is. Here you go.
I know what you’re thinking, but it’s still better than Hunter Biden’s paintings. That’s going for $85,000. Thanks, Joe. So, Walgreens has closed
17 of its stores due to rampant stealing, CVS has called the city one of the epicenters of organized retail crime. Meanwhile, in Atlanta, residents of the suburb Buckhead push for separate police forces as crime rages.
So, as Biden stresses domestic terror, we should remind him, it’s not white terror groups plaguing the cities in poor neighborhoods and causing stores all over to close, leaving the non-white elderly and others to fend for themselves. And don’t you think it’s odd that we know the name MS-13, as well as ISIS and al-Qaeda, but we don’t know the names of these white terror groups that are more dangerous according to our president than those other ones.
If I wasn’t such a gullible person, I think this is a distraction from the social disintegration of our cities under the Democrats’ watch. Can I get a period?
GUTFELD: Joe, is shoplifting like murder, a victimless crime?
DEVITO: There are some murders I think are victimless. I could give you a list of people. Yes, that was really horrible video. Yes, I’m glad we couldn’t show it, and I have a feeling that the person who shot it, this happens sometimes they have a video and then they don’t want to show it because they don’t want it to reflect on stereotypes. We could have seen left out of police reports where they don’t want to identify the race of the person if they’re if they’re not white.
DEVITO: Which is absurd because you’re supposed to be trying to catch this person to prevent further crime.
DEVITO: And if they want to prevent it I’m surprised the CVS chimed in. No one’s doing this to CVS because if you try to skip out, they have one of their giant receipts gets wrapped around and they just yank you to the ground.
GUTFELD: Yes. Those receipts are dangerous.
DEVITO: This is really bad what’s happening because we’re going to get to a world where only the wealthy who can afford private security can defend themselves.
GUTFELD: Diana, I think you coined the phrase, was it called the Brazilanization?
FLEISCHMAN: The Brazilification.
GUTFELD: Brazilification. You were born in Brazil, to what Joe was talking about, what happens when only the rich?
FLEISCHMAN: Yes, so one meaning of Brazilification is the fact that there’s a huge divide between the wealthy and the poor, partly because of poor economic planning. In Brazil, they have these huge favelas that are totally unplanned. They steal electricity and water and they live basically off the grid. And generally what happens is, families they live in private compounds, they have their own security, and you better believe it that private security is not as sensitive about who they ruff up as the police are. And so, that’s partly why my family left because we were afraid that they were afraid when I was a baby, I was getting kidnapped if we stayed in Brazil.
GUTFELD: Wow. And it’s so funny, I thought Brazilification was something completely different, something I got on spring break. Go laugh I looked great in that Speedo or was it a thong? Anyway, Emily used to defend criminals like, like this all the time. Now, do you feel guilty?
COMPAGNO: Innocent until proven guilty, first of all. Look, but just to set the landscape so they’re in San Francisco where reverse Santa occurred?
COMPAGNO: Keep in mind that the D.A. there, this is part of that growing trend. So, actually take a step back, and now Biden wants to bolster the DOJ to combat white supremacy, right. He says, we’re going to bolster the prosecutors, but what does it matter? If half the D.A.s now in the country are activists DJs and are failing to do their job? Gascon in L.A. failing to pursue any type of enhancements. Chesa Boudin there in San Francisco.
This guy was elected with less than 3000 votes, he had never prosecuted a day in his life, raised by Weather Underground founders, a commitment to essentially eradicating the entire system of justice in any type of law and order and he came out to the spike in crime when a female police officer was attacked by a homeless person because her partner was defunded. And he said, oh, it’s all the police unions fault.
And I quote, “It’s because they don’t want to do their job.” He blamed the cops for this surge in crimes, in crimes when they are the ones that are dying by suicide at spiking rates and getting shot at and assaulted and the like, and his budget is, is, has been defunded. And so, none of them can even work anymore. And so the audacity to me is that the, as the community is being left unprotected, as they’re headed toward private security.
Because that’s the only way that they can try to protect themselves, the entire system is falling apart because to your point, what’s a crime if it’s not prosecuted? What’s the prosecution if there’s no jail time?
Where’s the deterrent consequences for that? And it goes down the chain.
So, without the elected officials supporting them in the places that they should in the positions that they should, we’re all screwed. I feel like that was a really negative —
GUTFELD: It’s OK.
TIMPF: Armageddon police outlook.
GUTFELD: Speaking of crime Kat, we know that your husband didn’t come home last night. Do we have this, we — I think we always have the sketch. If you’ve see this man, do not, do not approach him he is armed and dangerous.
Kat, where are the white supremacist gangs that were, where are these domestic terrorists?
TIMPF: This is deeply upsetting, because we know historically that you know, task forces like this result in infringement on our civil liberty.
TIMPF: The good news is, the Biden administration said hey, we know about this it’s not going to do that. But the bad news is they didn’t explain how.
GUTFELD: Because you’re not going to find any.
TIMPF: So, their plan to not infringe on simple civil liberties is we won’t do it.
TIMPF: Which makes me feel no better because that’s what always happens historically.
GUTFELD: But this is a virtue signal.
GUTFELD: This whole thing is a hundred million dollars virtue signal.
TIMPF: Absolutely. And it’s like, taking or money so that they can spend it on also taking our civil liberties away which by the way, all this these violent crimes already illegal.
GUTFELD: Yes, they are.
TIMPF: Already illegal. FBI already has every avenue available to investigate and prosecute these things. It is a political virtue signal and a civil liberties grab.
GUTFELD: Got it. Oh, right. Strong topic. Up next, he led a polygamous cult with 89 kids being the result.
GUTFELD: Could any man survive having 38 wives? Yes, he was admired for the kids he sired, now he’s expired. One of the most prolific fathers in the world — that I know of — passed away Sunday and a funeral and a funeral limited of family love a bigger population than Rhode Island. 76-year-old,
(INAUDIBLE) was the head of a polygamous cult and left behind 38 wives, 89 children, and 36 grandchildren — should have more, not to mention dozens of world’s greatest grandpa coffee mugs.
His 100 room home was a tourist attraction in India and featured a dormitory for his wives next to his private bedroom, which was the perfect setup to avoid cuddling. The 89 kids put Sean away behind all-time leader, Moulay Ismail (INAUDIBLE) of Morocco with almost 900 kids and of course Pete Hegseth. Elizabeth, he’s no Ganga is Khan, he’s more like Chaka Khan.
That was a terrible pun, but anyway.
TIMPF: That’s your question.
FLEISCHMAN: He just called me Elizabeth.
GUTFELD: Did I call you Elizabeth?
DEVITO: You’re bad with our names tonight.
GUTFELD: What is going on, wrong with me, on with me? Oh my God. Am I broken out?
DEVITO: You have a comment?
FLEISCHMAN: I have a comment.
GUTFELD: Shut up, Joe. I know Joe’s name. No (INAUDIBLE) for him.
FLEISCHMAN: A man who had sex with 38 women in one month could have up to
38 children in that month?
FLEISCHMAN: Whereas a woman who has sex with 38 men in a month could maybe have to sit on an ice pack. And so, this really shows like one of the fundamental differences between men and women, is that for men having many wives is just it’s probably worth all the trouble. Whereas for woman having multiple husbands probably not worth the trouble.
GUTFELD: Yes, I mean, when you look at it that way, Emily, it’s like he’s like a professional athlete.
COMPAGNO: No. But if you will give me of that Tortoise Diego, the Galapagos tortoise who saved his species by fathering like a million turtles and then retired at the age of 100, back to the Galapagos, and everyone like applauded him, except this guy is no hero.
GUTFELD: Yes, you know, Kat, my theory is if you create an overwhelming amount of stress through commitment and responsibility, it’s impossible to actually be stressed out about it. It’s like I can’t like, I can’t do anything with 30 million wives.
TIMPF: That makes sense, because I feel like I’m the equivalent of at least
38 wives. And like, not the good stuff. I emptied the dishwasher yesterday, and I was like, I’m killing it, instead of that just being a normal thing to do. So, yes, I guess if it’s so bad, it’s good. And now I understand why he married me.
GUTFELD: Joe, what are your thoughts on this?
DEVITO: Well, you know, I usually think getting together with one woman is kind of a coup. So, to be with 38 — the men probably died of exhaustion.
GUTFELD: Yes, it’s true.
DEVITO: I mean, there’s just such a thing as post mature ejaculate. I think that’s what took his life, he just died of dehydration.
GUTFELD: That is true. I think though, I don’t know, I think if even if you have a ton of kids doesn’t your own genetic imprint kind of disappear within a few generations, right?
FLEISCHMAN: So, yes, each of your kids is 50 percent of your genes and then it goes to 25 percent, but that’s the currency of evolution right? And if you help, like in India, if you help your children select better mates, unlike what Joe Biden did, then you can actually increase the, the impact of your legacy as opposed to having it just wither away.
GUTFELD: There you go. We learned so much here. Don’t go anywhere. Be right back.
GUTFELD: Time for one, Joe.
DEVITO: Gotham Comedy Club on Friday and McGuire’s comedy club on Long Island for two shows on Saturday night.
GUTFELD: Excellent. I’ll not be there. But you can be there.
Set your DVRs every night so you never miss an episode. Thanks to Emily Compagno, Diana Fleischman, Joe DeVito, Kat Timpf, our studio audience.
“FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with Shannon Bream is next, evil Shannon Bream. I’m Greg Gutfeld. I love you, America.
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