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This is a rush transcript from “Gutfeld!,” August 11, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.


SEN. CORY BOOKER (D-NJ): There’s some people who have said that they’re members of this deliberative body that want to defund the police to my horror. But all of us 100 people not walked but sashay down there and vote for this amendment and put to rest the lies and can we add also that every senator here wants to defund the police believes in God, country and apple pie.


GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Spartacus is not so smartacus. Coffee is hitting me right now. Happy Wednesday. Time once again for?


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Everything is racist.


GUTFELD: Oregon just decided that reading, writing and arithmetic is racist. It was written in a bill which makes this bill inherently racist because someone had to write it. Yes, the worst state in history. You’re welcome, New Jersey. Has decided to drop the requirement that students demonstrate that they’ve mastered those skills. Crap, I said mastered. That’s racist too. According to activists Ben Crump, the phrase master as in master bedroom is racist.

I can only wonder what he thinks of my sheets. You know, there’s another joke I can make involving master. But why bait the audience? So, being heckled, I am being heckled. All right, shut up. This is a serious topic. So for the next five years, Oregon students will get a diploma without the necessary skill base, making that road paper as meaningful as a pink belt in karate. That is whaling currency is more valuable.

You get more respect if you showed up at a job interview with a teardrop tattoo from Rikers or in Joe DeVito’s case, when he applied for this job with a Curious George book in a mesh t shirt.

JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: I did. Yes, it was sexy.

GUTFELD: So this is new. The state is mandating schools to become diploma mills. Oddly, the governor signed this Senate bill into law almost a month ago, but didn’t brag about it. There was no signing ceremony probably because again, writing is racist. The state legislature had publicized other passed laws but not this one. They hit it like a cold sore on prom night. I remember that. It’s weird.

Progressives have happily trumpeted a lot of crazy (BLEEP) they’re even still bragging about defunding the police. But maybe here they actually feel some shame about this particular travesty. The governor won’t talk about it. Why should she? That’s like asking Andrew Cuomo, how he feels about misogyny in the workplace.

So is this new bill racist? Well, according to one of the government lackeys, they dropped the requirements in order to benefit Oregon’s black Latino, Latina, Latin X, Indigenous Asian, Pacific Islander tribal, and students of color. Effectively turning their degrees into a participation trophy. So to answer your question, hell yes, that’s racist. You couldn’t do worse if you named the bill minorities are stupid.

Because now expecting them to learn is viewed as oppression rather than providing knowledge and opportunity. Apparently, in the progressive mindset, minorities aren’t up to the task, which sounds kind of racist as opposed to the education for the assume these groups are hopeless. But tell that to Sergey Brin or Elon Musk or any other immigrant who came here and hit it big. I wonder what the angry black male thinks.


TYRUS, FOX NATION HOST: What? You’re following me home now? What is it now? What?


TYRUS: No reading, writing or arithmetic?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No reading, writing, arithmetic?

TYRUS: Are you talking to me?


TYRUS: Georgie, let me ask you a question. Stop copying me.


TYRUS: Seriously.


TYRUS: What if I told you that you didn’t have to do reading, writing or math at school anymore?




TYRUS: What? Then, you know, then you wouldn’t have to get a job or pay bills or anything. You’d be like —

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: But then how I do get a job and your bills?

TYRUS: I don’t know. Do you think that’s a good idea?


TYRUS: What?



GUTFELD: It’s pretty good. The soft bigotry of low expectations has now become law. Except it’s not soft. It’s as hard as a two-week old bagel. Yes, we can’t get these damn kids even past the most basic exams. So just ditch the exams. True, we could try harder and overhaul our own education, or see what — check out why these students are having problems. But it would cut into our three-month summer vacations.

Instead dropped the requirement problem solved, which actually punished his talent and hard work. It’s academic communism. Meanwhile, parents can’t tell how bad the schools are really doing. So could we try it elsewhere? Med school is hard. So we’re dropping the requirements on diagnosis and surgery. Here’s your new doctor.



GUTFELD: The good news if you like your clown, you can keep your clown. Engineering is not only complex, it’s also racist for it expects minorities to absorb mathematical data and use that to build things like planes, trains and automobiles. So we’re dropping the requirement on industry relevant skills. Meet the guy who designed the latest jumbo jet.



GUTFELD: Yes, clearly that’s the fences fault. You know, law enforcement is challenging. You have to deal with constant stress and your own secret racism. Plus, you have to run with all that stuff around your waist. That’s got to change especially when you don’t wear pants like me. So we decided to drop all requirements related to crime prevention. Here’s your new police force.



GUTFELD: Yes, bottom line. It’s not the requirements that are racist. It’s the assumption that specific groups can’t meet these standards. If you don’t think a black kid can learn to read and write. You’re the racist. You’re also the same ones who happened to hate Clarence Thomas and Thomas Sowell. It’s not us. No wonder the left hates school choice so much because parents would choose schools that expect kids to learn math.

If you think it’s too hard for Latin, Latino and Latin X to do sophomore level math. Well, first, congrats on using the most well classifications, but you’re still a racist, you jackass. Hell, even Tony Montana had to learn the metric system. Something as white Americans quit on. Fact is every arena in life where standards are being dropped is racism. It’s the ultimate condescension. We make the rules so only idiots can follow them.

But they — maybe they don’t know they’re being racist because they’re too busy calling everybody else and everything racist. Maybe we start pointing out to them with the same tenacity they use to point us out. It’s boring and it’s repetitive but someone has to do it. And it sure beats doing math, racist.


GUTFELD: Let’s tonight’s guests. She knows investing cash like I know persistent heat rash, Fox Business Correspondent Susan Li. He has five daughters. So tonight, he’s here for the peace and quiet. American Conservative Union Chairman Matt Schlapp. He’s available for all your entertainment needs, as long as they’re 50 feet away from a playground or school. Writer and comedian Joe DeVito.

Finally, she’s like a lamp, bright, attracts bugs and blacks out at night. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf. So, Susan, you are an expert in business.


GUTFELD: Yes, they say. I don’t know who they are. I never stopped to ask them who they are.

LI: Fox Business Network, yes.

GUTFELD: Yes. But — OK. So how does this portend? Is that the word for the future?

LI: Wow, that’s a big word for you. Yes.


GUTFELD: That hurts. I wasn’t even sure I was using it right. So she does have one on me. But anyway, what is — so, if we have a whole generation of kids who aren’t learning the basics, what happens in 2030 years economically?

LI: Yes. Development, that’s my big concern.


LI: Because merit is not racist. How many times do you have to say this on this show?


LI: And what about development? Because we know high school is not reality as the star quarterback or the head cheerleader.

GUTFELD: Yes. I was both.

LI: Oh wow. Yes.

GUTFELD: I don’t brag about it, because it makes people feel bad. I know that would make you feel bad not having majored in anything important.

LI: Exactly. And I wasn’t surprised if you were the most popular kid in school.

GUTFELD: I was, I was.

LI: But what happens —


GUTFELD: And I was home schooled, which is weird because I wasn’t even actual. But I would win everything. And I never showed up.

LI: Yes, but what about — so basic proficiency and math, really, you need that in real life and I think you’re hurting these kids by not making them meet that standard early on.

GUTFELD: But then what happens to your kids? Because your kids are going to be doing great and they’re going to be your —

LI: Wait. Your kids meme because I’m Asian that my kids are going to do great academic —


GUTFELD: No. I meant —


GUTFELD: No. I may —

LI: Because that is true actually. I promise you. I will be the tiger mother that says you will be in there after school studying piano four hours a day.

GUTFELD: There you go. Piano, there’s a great instrument math. Everybody can fit it into their house, right?

TYRUS: Yes, yes.

GUTFELD: (INAUDIBLE) piano in your living room. Really, Susan, you’re such an elitist. So, Matt, you have five daughters.


GUTFELD: It’s amazing that you’re still alive.


GUTFELD: How would — what do you — how do you see the future? I just keep thinking about the future. This is not good. It’s like we’re just giving up.

SCHLAPP: I’m confused.

GUTFELD: Me too.

SCHLAPP: It’s now like it went from leave no child behind to leave every child behind. And they’re saying homeschooling is terrible. We should all be in public schools. But then they shut down all the public schools and make everybody homeschool. Liberals only like homeschooling when they can make you do it.


SCHLAPP: Every single one of you. And now we’re in the situation where we’re saying please open up the schools, please open the schools, you read this stuff. You’re like, maybe they should keep them closed.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

SCHLAPP: Maybe we should just all figure out a different way. And if you look at the kindergarten rates of people going into public schools in kindergarten, they’re dropping, I think people are starting to make alternative plans.

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GUTFELD: I hope — I hope you’re right. But that is such an amazing point that they mocked — they mock homeschooling because they’re not in charge of it.

SCHLAPP: That’s right.

GUTFELD: But once you’re in charge of it, then it’s like you have to do it. Yes. Brilliance there, Joe. You keep it up?

DEVITO: Yes, yes, good, good.

GUTFELD: How are you doing?

DEVITO: I’m good. I’m good. I don’t like this.

GUTFELD: Oh, yes.

DEVITO: I don’t like this. I feel like —

GUTFELD: It’s a good beginning so far.

DEVITO: I know. Thanks for having me on the show. No, I don’t like this because — OK, so why not at the end just give them a Harvard diploma?


DEVITO: Why not just announced that Congratulations, you’re now — every one of you is the president of Shell Oil. Why not? Because it’s — if we’re taking away any sort of measurement and you know they’re not being required to attend because no one can say, hey, you weren’t here, you weren’t here on time. I don’t see what the point is. What they’re going to be teaching them all this time. It’s such nonsense.

And what really struck me was in that announcement, he said it’s — said it’s dropping through currents will benefit Oregon’s black Latino, Latina, Latin X indigenous Asian, Pacific Islander tribal and students of color. Why did he say Latino, Latina and Latin X?


DEVITO: I thought Latin X was supposed to cover all of that.


DEVITO: So why didn’t he say Asian X, your indigene X or X-men or why did – – because it’s showing these words don’t mean anything. It’s complete nonsense.


DEVITO: Uber X. And I love what they throw in Asian students, because Asian students are the ones that suffer the most.


DEVITO: Because they’re the ones who get the good grades, just they lower the standards, the kids are going to work hard, are going to look so much better. And they say, well, we can’t have that. It’s the same as any other leftist plan. They have to build walls around it to keep successful people from getting out. Because it reveals the flaws in their own stupid philosophy.

GUTFELD: That is such a good point. Kat, what about the other countries? They must be laughing at us. That’s this question, by the way that no one’s ever said before.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: That’s that. No one’s ever mentioned something on this channel. Like but this country is ahead of us in this. Yes, look, I’ve done a lot of things in my life, where I look back and I’m like —

GUTFELD: You could just shop there.

TIMPF: Shouldn’t have done that. Shouldn’t have done that. Maybe could have used my time a better way, have not felt that way about learning to read.


TIMPF: I’m very glad that I still — I still use it actually the reading.

LI: Wow. Yes.

TIMPF: Yes. And the writing too.


TIMPF: It’s — I don’t get it. If — I feel like if you’re one of these super left people at some point, you might say to yourself, OK, so our philosophy is we don’t believe that children of color are capable of learning to read. We are — we are believing that two year olds are capable of leaving masks on all day and using them properly. At some point you look in the mirror and think and be like what am I doing?

GUTFELD: Yes, and you also. And a four-year-old can, you know, we can gender reassign like, you know, we can’t read, can’t write but we’re going to — we’re going to change your sex because for like a brief period of time you wanted to wear a different type of clothing. That’s the insanity, Kat. The insanity.

TIMPF: Nice red meat tag there.

GUTFELD: Very good. Yes, yes. Blow your damn nose.

TIMPF: I did.

GUTFELD: I know.

TIMPF: And it was satisfying.

GUTFELD: It was. You should have seen what happened. All right. Up next. It’s true. As the Cuomo scandals take their toll. Brian Stelter does damage control.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It’s Cuomos. Whoa. Starting Andrew and Chris. Cool.


GUTFELD: Yes. Stelter’s excuses are not so hot as Chris Cuomo heads for the yacht. Fox News caught up with Chris Cuomo at a Hamptons doc. Before I had a chance to remove his shirt to show off his pecs. Like his medium-sized Polo, you know he shrunk it on purpose. His lips were tight.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Have you spoken to your brother today, sir?


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Are you continuing to advise him? Do you think that’s an ethical conflict?

CUOMO: I think you got a job to do. And I’m letting you do it.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Is your brother coming to East Hampton?

CUOMO: Yes, wait here. He’ll be here in five minutes.


GUTFELD: See? That’s funny. Yes, that’s funny. Yes. That’s funny. Put that in my monologue. At least he’s finally learned to control his temper, right?


CUOMO: You did not think my name was (BLEEP) Fredo don’t be a liar. If (BLEEP) ruin your (BLEEP) I’ll (BLEEP) throw you down like a (BLEEP) punk.


GUTFELD: Wow. See? He’s changed. Which leads us to someone who’d never lose his composure unless it’s around a box of Krispy Kremes. Yes. Brian Stelter. The perfect company, man. Are you applauding him with a joke? He defended CNN’s handling of the Cuomo crisis on Colbert.


STEPHEN COLBERT, CBS HOST: New York Times is reporting that that’s true. Chris was helping his brother, what’s — has that create any conflict over at CNN behind closed doors? Are people mad at him or is he — is he in trouble?

BRIAN STELTER, CNN ANCHOR: Some people are mad at him. I also have a source that says Chris was on the phone with this brother this week.

COLBERT: Is your source Chris Cuomo?


STELTER: He is not. He is not. You got to have boundaries. He got to draw a line.

COLBERT: Why he doesn’t?

STELTER: I think he does actually.

COLBERT: Really?

STELTER: I think Chris does. I don’t know about the governor.


GUTFELD: Well, at least Stelter wore pants this time. He babbled saying there’s nothing in the journalists — journalism ethics book on how to deal with this situation. I guess it doesn’t have a section on either. Although it’s nice to hear someone mentioned boundaries when talking about the Cuomos. And over at MSNBC leave it to Chuck Todd to plot Cuomo his comeback.


CHUCK TODD, MSNBC HOST: His career was either permanently over or almost permanently over and he chose the path of almost permanently over. I expect in my lifetime Andrew Cuomo to probably run for office again.


GUTFELD: Chuck’s only got five years to live. But the body’s not even cold yet, Chuck. Meanwhile, Tucker Carlson proposed an interesting theory about the New York A.G.


TUCKER CARLSON, FOX NEWS HOST: Earlier this year she said that A.G., you thought it meant Attorney General. No, actually she said it stands for aspiring governor, which she is. So there are reasons to question Letitia James’s motives to put it mildly.


GUTFELD: Hmm. So like my phone number and a truck stop bathroom. The writing was on the wall for the governor. By the way. When you do call that number, specify route and location. I’ve pretty much peppered the eastern seaboard, and I’m not going to drive around forever. Kill the whole weekend. Matt.

SCHLAPP: Now I’m scared to death.

GUTFELD: Tucker is echoed what I’ve heard a lot, which is that, yes, Cuomo is a creep. But wait, you see what’s coming in? I mean, you could get Bill de Blasio was governor, you could get Letitia James. I mean, is it better to have like, less crazy creep? than a non-creep who’s a hardcore leftist? I don’t know.

SCHLAPP: I’m having trouble with the logic. I’m glad he’s gone.


SCHLAPP: Say that. But I do think there’s a special place at CNN for every failed New York politician. They have given several shows.


SCHLAPP: I could see a rebound of the man’s career for sure.


SCHLAPP: And I think the thing more than anything else that’s really gross is to see Brian Stelter say, who his sources are not.


SCHLAPP: By the way, anonymous means you’re not talking about your sources. You don’t say, we’ll keep coming with names. You’re getting warmer. You know, it doesn’t work that way.

GUTFELD: Yes. You know it was him, it was Cuomo. Kat, could it — could there be an opportunity for the brothers to have their own show? Right? And it — because I mean, very popular among the media when that happen.

TIMPF: A boat show.

GUTFELD: A boat show, yes.

TIMPF: People are missing a very important part of this story, which is that then the name of Chris Cuomo’s boat is heart strong, like, OK, buddy, who names a boat that? It’s like a movie about a high school football team. He’s not the guy that he thinks he is. And it also it blows the whole plan vacation thing out of the water, because who is there who makes millions of dollars a year, and plans of vacation and just stays home?


TIMPF: Nobody.

GUTFELD: That’s what — actually but when your home is the Hamptons?

TIMPF: Yes. I wouldn’t know about that.

GUTFELD: She laughed.


GUTFELD: Joe. What do you make of this? Is this story ongoing or is it about the flameout?

DEVITO: No, there’s a lot to this. First of all, for Chris Cuomo, if your nickname is Fredo, don’t be going on any boats.


DEVITO: Bad move. He’s chilling the Hampton, his brothers in the Hampton in by himself at the — harass himself out of loneliness. Here’s the problem I had. I — Greg, you know, I get all my political predictions from CNN and from celebrities.

GUTFELD: Right, of course.

DEVITO: And I miscalculated. They told me in 2020 that Andrew Cuomo was going to be the next president of the United States and I wasted, I spent all my money making these bumper stickers for Cuomo-Avenatti 2024, and I can’t — I’m trying to unload this. So, what I did, I think these might move. I had them, edit them at the print shop with the handcuffs.

GUTFELD: That’s like a really good editorial cartoon.

DEVITO: It’s really good.

GUTFELD: Just that.

DEVITO: Yes. And I —

SCHLAPP: Are we allowed to bring props? I didn’t know that.

DEVITO: And you know what, I think I should learn my lesson from last time from these Weiner-Spitzer 20212.



GUTFELD: He’s been — he’s been carrying that one around for eight years.

DEVITO: I have. I’ve had it my backpack.

GUTFELD: Yes. Got a yogurt stain on it.

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LI: Where’s the Swoosh sign, the Nike sign for Avenatti?

GUTFELD: You know, Susan, I asked a questions here. What should —


LI: — corporation.

GUTFELD: Yes. You’re a bit — what should happen to Chris Cuomo?

LI: Wow, that’s great question.

GUTFELD: Why thank you. That’s why I’m sitting here.

LI: Well, I don’t — I don’t want to make any judgment on any fellow pure well, journalists. And he used to work here as well.

GUTFELD: Yes, he did.

LI: Did you know him back then?

GUTFELD: We were roommates. It was really fun. You know, the thing is, we couldn’t find a place to live. So we dressed up as women and stayed at a woman’s college.

LI: Yes, it was — it was a star cheerleader back there.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

LI: Yes. No, but I love the — did you watch the resignation? The —


LI: So I just loved the Kairos we’re so behind. And they were just — it was five minutes behind before they say Cuomo resigns, and I think everybody was just checking with each other saying did he really say that?


LI: I just thought wow.


LI: I guess we’re just all double checking at the same time.

GUTFELD: Yes, that was crazy. You see, what do you feel about Chuck Todd saying that there could be a comeback?

TIMPF: I want to know what would possibly lead to that?


TIMPF: Based on what evidence because it’s, you know, he resigned because this was all really bad. He’s a bad guy. But there’s still all these other things that he did even beside this.

GUTFELD: The nursing home.

TIMPF: You want the nursing home. The priority testing for family and friends. The — sir, I lose track in so many horrible things.

SCHLAPP: The book.

TIMPF: The book. The misusing the funds for the book.


TIMPF: It’s like — and what a weird hill to die on.


TIMPF: Why — like why is — why? Why Chuck Todd? Did he get the test? Maybe he got the test.

GUTFELD: Yes, there you go. There you go. But it’s true. It’s like — but, you know what, he could still run again as governor or he could run for mayor of New York which would — I would still take him over De Blasio even he’s a creep. All right. Up next Rand Paul’s message wasn’t compliant so he got censored by a big tech giant.



GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST (on camera): Rand Paul should be thanked, instead, his videos got yanked. YouTube has suspended Kentucky Senator Rand Paul over a video claiming cloth masks don’t work against preventing COVID transmission.

I guess he’s been reading Anthony Fauci’s e-mails. So YouTube yanked a video like Jeffrey Toobin on a conference call. In early video of Paul being interviewed about masks, he posted a video in response to being censored, and that second video, he claimed two different studies proved cloth masks are useless.


SEN. RAND PAUL (R-KY): A Danish study of 6,000 participants found that wearing a surgical mask did not significantly reduce a person’s risk of COVID-19 infection. A Vietnamese study of 1,600 participants found that cloth masks allow for 97 percent penetration of particles the same size as the virus. Most of the masks you get over the counter don’t work. They don’t prevent infection.


GUTFELD: Wait, that sounds like science. Shut up, Rand Paul, you crazy actual medical doctor. Society too studies that follow the science got him booted from YouTube for a week, under their three-strikes policy. Four strikes means Google runs over you with a tank in Tiananmen Square.

But like any conversation, Kat has with her husband, these suspensions and hysteria, and censorship only work one way. That was a long way to a joke.

Consider this. In Oklahoma this week, a public school board discussed the law passed by the governor prohibiting schools from imposing mask mandates. One board member’s argument against it was that kids could commit murder by not wearing masks in school, despite evidence that murderers often wear masks.


LINDA SEXTON, NORMAN PUBLIC SCHOOLS BOARD OF EDUCATION: If there’s any way between now and the beginning of school that we can get this changed, I hope we can because it’s just not OK for kids to commit murder by coming to school without a mask. It’s possible.

They will — they will cause a death of another child because they come to school without a mask.


GUTFELD: Wow. So, Paul gets suspended from YouTube for saying cloth masks suck. But if you exaggerate claims like saying mask and kids are murderers, nothing really happens to you. I get it. He’s a senator and she’s just a school board lady. And she has apologized.

But it appears in general, the media only cares about a certain kind of claim. You know, it’s like my uncle Ralph used to say, when truth is replaced by silence, the silence is a lie.

Uncle Ralph also lives in an abandoned carwash with 30 cats.

Joe, this is an interesting thing, and I don’t think they’re fair comparisons the school teacher and the senator. But there’s two kinds of misinformation. Two kinds of so-called extreme information, the opinion that COVID’s a giant scare, and you should be skeptical.


GUTFELD: Or the opinion that if you don’t wear a mask, you know, you’re killing people, or you’ve got blood on your hands. Stuff that you see on MSNBC or CNN. But the media only cares about one side of that so-called misinformation.



GUTFELD: It’s the same way they did with fake news. And with fact-checking, right? They only fact-checked one side. They’re more worried about your skepticism and not the hysteria.

DEVITO: Yes, it’s very strange that they keep yanking Rand Paul’s videos.



DEVITO: Because what’s YouTube’s position, like, hey, why don’t just put up videos from anybody? Oh, yes, we kind of do, we’re YouTube.


DEVITO: Yes, I mean he is an actual doctor and he makes a good point. You know that these — this mask-wearing has just become theatre for a lot of people.



DEVITO: And it’s enable a lot of people to be the schools that they’ve always wanted to be.


DEVITO: And it does make sense that — look if you can breathe easily through the mask, what is it blocking?


DEVITO: What is it holding out? So, yes, it’s pretty wild. And then you see this woman on the school board that if you can make that jump, then, shouldn’t we be arresting the Obamas for attempted murder?


DEVITO: I mean, like I said, a huge unmasked event.


DEVITO: And, of course, that would be the first time Obama killed somebody without a drone. But you can see — don’t you moan at me.

GUTFELD: Down moan about the drone.

DEVITO: But it’s true like what is — what is our relationship to reality in this? Is it — is it no mask and we all hide inside like it’s poison gas, or —


GUTFELD: It’s the prison of two ideas, Kat. OK? Right? I — its — masks are not 100 percent effective, nor are they zero effective. It’s somewhere in the middle. But this woman has had her opinions assigned to her through the media. She believed that and now she regrets it.

But there is truth to the fact that it is an obstacle but it is not failsafe. That’s why parents should have a choice in this. No?

KATHERINE TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR (on camera): Yes, especially on a 2-year-old.


TIMPF: Like, it’s not obviously murder. 2-year-olds can commit murder. There’s never going to be an hour-long investigation, discovery reenactment. That’s just a school — kid goes to school without a mask.

GUTFELD: That would be a —

TIMPF: Like it’s not going to happen.

GUTFELD: That would be a great forensic file for kids.


TIMPF: Yes, it would be (INAUDIBLE) great — On a 2-year-old, like, I just — I don’t know if these people have ever seen a 2-year-old. I saw a 2- year-old with the mask, like sort of on — in a — like a — like a toddler in a stroller in New York.

Then, the kid was just touching all the scaffolding and rubbing their face because that’s what 2-year-olds do.

GUTFELD: Yes. They’re so —

TIMPF: They’re not sanitary.

GUTFELD: Susan, where do you stand on this? Or in this situation, sit?

SUSAN LI, FOX BUSINESS NETWORK CORRESPONDENT (on camera): Oh, well, OK. Well, I think I told you about the difference in vaccine rules and procedures in different airlines.


LI: Right?

GUTFELD: Right, right, right.

LI: So, you know, it says, we’re going to fire you if you don’t get vaccinated to their 64,000 employees. But then, you have other people saying, well, actually, we’ll incentivize it or you don’t have to get vaccinated, but you have to get tested.

I just want something standard and uniform. So, we can all abide by the same rules when I get confused.

GUTFELD: I don’t know if I want something standard at this point. I want — I want people to be able to make their own decisions, you know.


GUTFELD: That you —

LI: Freedom?

GUTFELD: I mean, you should know. I mean, you — out of all of us. You have the most — what’s the word? Most irons in the fire if you have five kids.

SCHLAPP: The irons out of the fire?

GUTFELD: Yes. Maybe, maybe you should have kept this — maybe less iron in the fire.

SCHLAPP: You back later, here we go. I understand where you’re going. The kids — trying to homeschool your kids. Look, I never felt so unconfident my life.


SCHLAPP: And when you’re doing this third and fourth-grade math. And the fact is, they’re scaring the hell out of these kids too by telling they’re going to be murderers?

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

SCHLAPP: This is like child abuse and wrong. And look, my 18-year-old and my 15-year-old have more common sense than these elected officials of these education boards, and we need to get rid of them and start all over again.

GUTFELD: There you go. All right, up next, the vote reveals what some lawmakers are about, telling lies and selling us out.


GUTFELD: 19, too late. 19 Republicans vote like sheep. So, China can sell crap to us cheap. It’s time for —


GUTFELD: Now, we get that infrastructure talk and be drier than Nancy Pelosi before her daily plasma infusion. So, while I read this story to the left, you’re going to see some awesome but totally unrelated videos. So, here we go.

China has done a pretty good job of screwing everyone. So, it makes perfect sense that most of the GOP wants to limit their power. What doesn’t make sense is that 19 Senate Republicans voted with Democrats to pass the Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act and sell America out faster than you — than our upcoming shows in Nashville.

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The bill includes a provision allowing companies to bypass buy America rules when iron, steel, construction, or manufacturing products would raise a project’s cost by more than 25 percent. You following me?

Since China dominates those industries as well as the deadly virus industry, this could be a boon for corporate — corporations linked to the CCP, like Nike and Apple. It’s amazing what you can save using labor camps.

In other words, no matter how bad China keep screwing us over, we can’t just seem to leave them. Sounds like Kat when she was dating Menudo. Yes.

TIMPF: I use wild at that.

GUTFELD: I don’t know, but it’s funny. Kat, here is the part where you tell me you’re a libertarian, blah, blah, blah. Freedom, blah, blah, blah, market, blah.

TIMPF: You know, I could do that. But after you expressed it so eloquently, I’m just not sure that I could do any better.


TIMPF: In explaining that at my point of view in terms of free markets. I do get upset in general at these massive, massive spending bills, and is just one after the other, and no one seems to care.

And I’m so sick of hearing Joe Biden, everyone else talk about what my fair share of payment is for something that I have nothing to do with.

GUTFELD: Right. True.

TIMPF: Like, like, there’s no such thing as your fair share of my —

GUTFELD: Yes, and no one wants it. Susan. You add —

LI: Infrastructure. So, proud of you.

GUTFELD: Why do they — why do they — this is the first and only time infrastructure will be mentioned on the show. Why don’t we just say structure? Why does have for the infrastructure? It’s so generic and broad. Everything is infrastructure, call it structure.

LI: Well, broadband that’s infra, I guess.

GUTFELD: OK, infra.

LI: You know, it’s very high-tech. But I’m so proud of you because the last time I said infrastructure on the show, I think your eyes tried to go back as far as it could into your head from boredom.

GUTFELD: Yes, I was looking at my cerebellum.

LI: Oh.

GUTFELD: Yes, just checking on it.

LI: Kin of look at here.

GUTFELD: I looked all right, I’ve been watering it a lot.

LI: But do you notice that — I don’t know half the time what are you saying. So, I just laugh along and say, Oh, that’s really funny, Greg. Fantastic.

GUTFELD: I have problems.

LI: Oh, but don’t you noticed that Biden kept the tariffs on China though?

GUTFELD: Oh, I did.

LI: Remember, they were saying that oh, you’re going to ruin the economy by stepping up to China.


LI: But instead, they just kept it on anyway.

GUTFELD: There you go. Do you know what he did? He did to Trump right? But he didn’t say he did to Trump, he just left it there. Right?

SCHLAPP: But he did water down these America First policies, and you know, that language on buying stuff that’s made in America. And the key and all this is that, you know, the spending is just out of control. Kat is completely right. It’s something like $9 trillion.

It’s juicing the economy, it’s why we have inflation, and the guy’s got to fill his tank with gas and that really hurts or has to buy the box of Swanson’s or whatever we’re talking about.


SCHLAPP: It hurts — it hurts right now and it’s going to pay the real thing — real big problem for the Democrats in the coming —


GUTFELD: Box Swanson’s great deal, fried chicken 12 pieces, Joe. You know it being a bachelor with (INAUDIBLE) income.

DEVITO: (INAUDIBLE), don’t even heat it up.

GUTFELD: Yes, don’t even — no, why bother?

DEVITO: On it.

GUTFELD: When it’s frozen?


GUTFELD: It’s naughty like — it’s like pretend you’re in Alaska exploring, eating cold chicken. Yes.

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DEVITO: Good for when I’m teething.

GUTFELD: Yes. And if somebody gets mad at you, you beat him to death with a — with a bone.

DEVITO: slice them with the tin.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.

SCHLAPP: Razor sharp.

GUTFELD: I’m tired of this conversation. Last word to you.

DEVITO: Last word, I think China needs to get over the inferiority complex. OK? Because the wall, it’s OK.


DEVITO: And they are actually claiming Olympic gold medals that Hong Kong and Taiwan won.


DEVITO: So, we have to keep in mind that’s who we’re dealing with here that this is the company, they’re our biggest rival right now in the world. So, we have to be very careful who we’re cutting deals for.

GUTFELD: This is the — this is the country that is responsible for the largest biological disaster in human history.


GUTFELD: In human history. And we want cheap — choose in cheap phones. So, we’re OK to do business with the people that have your kids in masks, your relatives dying, your business is crumbling, because you want to get a cheaper freaking iPhone.

All right, that’s it. Up next, Capitalism, it’s racist.


GUTFELD: When you hear about Amex’s club, you’ll be reaching for a Diners Club. According to Chris Rufo, writing for The New York Post, American Express recently hosted a critical race theory training program. As part of an anti-racism initiative started by Amex execs last year in the wake of the George Floyd protests.

Which raises a key question, how many things instituted by terrified corporate virtue signalers in the wake of the George Floyd protest ended up being unmitigated disasters? Probably a lot.

Other elements of the program reportedly include teaching white employees how to identify their privilege, while likely ignoring that you’re specifically marginalized for being white.

Rufo says that guest lecturer Khalil Muhammad argued that profits must be sacrificed to advance racial justice. I bet Amex really loved that part. But it’s only because of capitalism that American Express is able to employ over 60,000 people. But if it were up to the woke, they would all be broke.

But I guess this training program isn’t as bad as last year’s Amex seminar, office parkour.


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, welcome the desk.



UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, how about that?




UNIDENTIFIED MALE: One day. And leap. Come in.


GUTFELD: Oh my goodness. Joe, is AmEx stupid?

DEVITO: Yes, because the — what are the speakers that brought in Khalil Muhammad is from the nation of Islam speaking of inclusive organizations, I think they could be a little surprised when he hears opinion on Jews, gays, and women.

GUTFELD: Yes, that’s true.

DEVITO: But, at first, I thought, well, American Express their slogan used to be membership has its privileges, which could mean white privilege.


DEVITO: However —

SCHLAPP: Very good.

DEVITO: However —

GUTFELD: That’s going — that’s going away.

DEVITO: But their high-end card is the black card.


DEVITO: So, everybody is happy.


DEVITO: It worked out for everyone.

GUTFELD: Well, you should use that in your material wherever you’re performing next.

DEVITO: Yes, well, that would be in Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey this weekend at the brokerage of Bellmore Long Island. Thank you.

GUTFELD: Matt, I have a problem. I would have a problem working at a place that is so coldly corporate and cutthroat financially, but then hires people to tell you you’re racist. It’s like hobos telling you about hygiene.

SCHLAPP: Very good. I’m going to have to laugh at that. I got to figure out how to do that. The —


SCHLAPP: No, look, America —

GUTFELD: This is a tough crowd today.

SCHLAPP: These corporations, people are starting to vote with their feet and they’re holding back the dollars. Now, this is a boycott I can really get into.


SCHLAPP: I have already told the women in my family, we are not using the American Express card for months. And I feel great about it.

GUTFELD: There you go.

Susan, is this have an effect on Amex? Or this is — this is just more corporate virtue signaling. So, people leave them alone.

LI: Yes, well, no one uses Diners Club anymore.

GUTFELD: I do that.

LI: I’m sorry, but the centurion, the black card — what do you think get motivates people to pay $700 a year to pay for that centurion card?

TIMPF: A capitalism.


TIMPF: Because of this great country, the AmEx —


GUTFELD: What do you get for that 700 bucks?

LI: Yes, a lot of benefits.


LI: You get prime tables or restaurants which I think you’re trying to book. So, yes.


GUTFELD: Yes, that’s true.

TIMPF: Look, capitalism. Well, there is no wealth creation for thousands of years. And countries started trying capitalism, and then it started happening. So, if they want, you know, they need it in terms of we could all people of all races could equally just lay around and starve, then they have the point. But that’s not my ideal situation for the world.

GUTFELD: You are truly a philanthropist.

TIMPF: Yes, yes.

GUTFELD: Yes. All right. Well, we’re done then. Aren’t we? Anybody want to say anything else?

TIMPF: No, I’m just not going to pay my — no, I’m not paying my AmEx bill.

GUTFELD: There you go.

SCHLAPP: There we go.

TIMPF: I don’t want to be a racist.


GUTFELD: Oh, right idea. I forget about my idea. We should — I’m looking – – we should — we should cancel credit card debt.

SCHLAPP: That’s?

GUTFELD: $800 billion,

LI: Oh.

SCHLAPP: That’s right. Yes.

GUTFELD: $800 billion. The average — the average American has a $5,000 in debt. AmEx, let’s cancel their debt.

SCHLAPP: I like it.

GUTFELD: Go away, we’ll be right back.


GUTFELD: Out of time. Thanks to Susan Li, Matt Schlapp. Joe DeVito, Kat Timpf, studio audience. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with Shannon Bream is next. She’s evil. I’m Greg Gutfeld. I love you.

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