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This is a rush transcript from “Gutfeld!,” July 14, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DON LEMON, CNN HOST: What do you got for me?
CHRIS CUOMO, CNN ANCHOR: We got you different suit, different tie, help you out, making that look like you’re selling something?
LEMON: What do you — what do you — what are you talking about?
CUOMO: You look like an ice cream salesman.
LEMON: I want the booth by the window and not in the back Maitre d’, what are you talking about?
CUOMO: First of all, I prefer show —
LEMON: OK, I wish I had my keys, I throw them at you.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST (on camera): They should take that act on the road, and then leave it there.
All right, well, it was the worst of times. It was the worst of times. The United States today, it’s Watergate, 911, the Civil War, the potato famine, and the cancellation of Sex in the City, all rolled into one.
And thank God due to climate change, the world supposed to end in eight years. That reminds me, I got to pick up my shirts at the cleaners. So, why is everything so bad? Because we live in the age of hyperbole.
In fact, some say we’re living in the greatest, most incredible era of hyperbole since the beginning of time. It’s where hacks use extreme rhetoric to scare you into submission.
If you don’t wear a mask outside while jogging, you have blood on your hands. If you support the cops, you’re a racist with blood on your hands. If you cut your finger slicing tomatoes.
Well, that would be right. You would have blood on your hands.
But even more, if you disagree with Joe, you might just as well be Jefferson Davis himself.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: They saw on free and fair elections is just such a threat. Literally, I’ve said it before. We’re facing the most significant test of our democracy since the Civil War. That’s not hyperbole. Since the Civil War.
GUTFELD: No, he’s not well. Joe Biden literally doesn’t know the meaning of the word literally. I mean, he says it’s not hyperbole because he knew it was hyperbole the moment he said it. You could say he has hyperbole on the brain. And boy, hyperbole must be very lonely.
It’s weird how a month of challenging and contentious election makes you worse than a pro-slavery, confederate flag-waving non-recycling Democrat.
But Joe’s party spent four years doing the same thing with the 2016 election. The irony is thicker than Brian Stelter’s thighs.
Oh, judge, you know, it’s true.
Still, the hyperbole continues. Let’s see what’s happening over at CNN, shall we?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The Civil War? That’s not even close.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No, this is worse than when Lee Harvey Oswald shot Abraham Lincoln.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It’s worse than when the Hindenburg crash right into that iceberg.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It’s worse than when all those good soldiers lost their lives in the Battle of Chernobyl.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It’s worse than when the villagers of Pompeii got wiped out by the B.P. oil spill.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: It’s worse than when the Manson Family tried to cover up Watergates.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You got me there.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Yes, little known facts. Now, remember, during the Civil War, those Confederate Democrats may have owned slaves, but they never put on Red Hats wandered into the Capitol, and stole office supplies from Jerry Nadler.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BIDEN: For Confederates back then, never breached the Capitol. As insurrectionists did on January the sixth. I’m not saying this to alarm you. I’m saying this because you should be alarmed.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What?
GUTFELD: So, wait a second pal, January 6th shouldn’t have alarmed you because by January 6th, you should have already been alarm. What is going on in that brain? But true, we were already alarmed when you Mr. Magoo won the election.
You claimed you were a unifier. As you deemed half the country a bunch of Nazis. How is this rhetoric now not incitement, but keep going?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BIDEN: I never thought my entire career I’d ever have to say it. But I swore note to you, to God, to preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution. That’s an oath that forms a sacred trust to defend Americans to all threats, both foreign and domestic.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Oh, man. Dude, you wouldn’t know a foreign threat? If a shirtless Putin rode his horse into the Oval Office and took a dump on your desk.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh.
GUTFELD: So, the problem we face as Americans today isn’t us. It’s threat misdiagnosis.
Russia and China are both engaging in cyber warfare. Cuba’s looking like it’s ready to blow, and Haiti’s president was just found dead with 12 bullets in him. In other words, natural causes.
And in a dang prison cell somewhere, sits a guy who wore horns on his head at the Capitol. But who does our fearless formerly hairless commander in chief see as being the chief threat? You and me? And the network’s surprise, surprise agree.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Your questions of when, where, and how Americans get to vote are tonight taking on greater urgency. In some of his strongest language yet, President Biden today blasting Republican efforts to restrict voting access as un-American and a test of our democracy.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: President Biden late today in Philadelphia, the birthplace of American democracy blasting what he calls attacks on voting rights. Republican-led efforts in more than 16 states across the country, the president and that warning, calling it the most significant test of our democracy since the Civil War, saying these new laws aimed to limit whether or not your vote counts at all.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: So, solemn. So, it paints targets on you and the media plots. Anyway, we live in a time where, rather than use clear, plain language to debate an issue, we resort to the language of the lawsuit. That’s why actions are causing irreparable harm.
Biden’s administration has turned our country into an episode of divorce court, throwing around terms like vicious and unconscionable. The Dems accuse everyone of every horrible thing imaginal– imaginable until you sling it right back at them. Then, they go from, well, you’re an evil monster to, we ask that you respect our family’s privacy.
This incendiary language is spreading. On Twitter, hyperbole powers this scalp seeking mobs, and its stench is present in every online petition demanding a boycott.
Their targets are always racist and tolerant authoritarian monsters. Even when they’re not in power, just ask the gurgling Gergen.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
DAVID GERGEN, CNN SENIOR POLITICAL ANALYST: What we’re worried about with Trump was that he was crazy, and he’s still crazy. And he was unhinged, and you know, and he could bring the whole system down. He’s the brand he has all these authoritarian tendencies.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: It’s like an I.V. drip of concentrated Trump derangement syndrome is the only thing keeping that desiccated husk alive. Whenever we get to say husk enough.
And our hysteric-in-chief is right behind him.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BIDEN: The 21st century Jim Crow assault is real. It’s unrelenting. And we’re going to challenge it vigorously.
We’ll be asking my Republican friends in Congress and states and cities and counties to stand up for God’s sake, and help prevent this concerted effort to undermine our election and the sacred right to vote. Have you no shame?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Have you no shame, asks the hair sniffing plagiarizing race bader. So, as a new report reveals that our Navy is unprepared to defend our country. But it’s full speed ahead on anti-racism. We’re being told that the enemy is within. Never mind Russia or even China, which now boasts the world’s most fearsome Navy.
The real monsters drive Chevy trucks, wear red hats and listen to Toby Keith. And we must all go woke or will never shed our evil past. So, rather than look forward, we focus on exorcising demons from centuries past, all of which were created by Democrats.
Their hate for this country runs deeper than a Chicago pizza. When we inevitably become a failed superpower, at least, we’ll know why. We deserve it. Because we were worse than those murderous Confederate slave owners and they’re corrupt segregationist descendants.
In other words, Democrats. How was that for hyperbole?
GUTFELD: Let’s welcome, tonight’s guest. Oh, yes.
She sent more criminals up the river than a boat carrying the Clintons. “JUSTICE” host Judge Jeanine Pirro. You are a crowd favorite.
He knows the beltway like I know the buffet. Host of “THE GUY BENSON SHOW” on Fox News radio, Guy Benson.
Life guard, lawyer, model. She handles more jobs in super glue. Turning Point USA contributor Erin Elmore.
And her behavior has steroid users saying that’s not because of steroid. Fox News contributor Kat Timpf.
Judge, it is a pleasure to have you here. It’s like I only saw you a few hours ago on “THE FIVE”.
JEANINE PIRRO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST (on camera): It was less than that Greg.
GUTFELD: It really was. But it seems —
PIRRO: But it seems like a lifetime.
GUTFELD: I know — I know.
GUTFELD: We need to spend more time together.
PIRRO: I don’t think so.
GUTFELD: So, no from (INAUDIBLE) vacations? No, like, you know, people do think you and I hang out.
PIRRO: We don’t hang out.
GUTFELD: I know. I know but people —
PIRRO: You know, why? Because you never — you never invite me.
GUTFELD: Well, you wouldn’t like the things I do.
PIRRO: I would — I used to prosecute people for the things that you did.
GUTFELD: You know, she’s absolutely right. You’re right. So, Judge —
GUTFELD: This rhetoric — OK. So, Trump got a lot of grief, but I would think some of it was justifiable for being antagonistic. But he always went after people that were like, on his level.
He go after Jim Acosta, the press. He’d go after the Democratic Party, but he wouldn’t actually label people like you wouldn’t say, Biden, voters suck, or Hillary voters suck.
He was always about focusing on people that could fight. Biden is like labeling people as like, basically as bad as slave owners and Confederate soldier.
PIRRO: Well, yes. I mean, you know, the hyperbole as you talk about it, is about making all of us feel that we’re racist, we’re oppressors, we’re horrible people, and he references a Civil War.
PIRRO: Well, the Civil War was about not being racist. It was about making sure that people weren’t slaves anymore. It was about Americans dying.
PIRRO: The 250,000 of them. Yet, he uses that as an example of what’s un- American. I mean, I — the guy is lost, and he really has lost it. And I think the Democrats go to Washington, and what they do is they learn these phrases. You’re un-American, you’re an oppressor, you’re a racist. They don’t know anything about the bills, anything about the laws, they just know about name-calling,
PIRRO: That’s what they do.
GUTFELD: OK, but I’m going to say, Guy, that both sides, I’m not going to say this, and then I’m going to contradict myself. Both sides can be guilty of hyperbole. We saw a lot of hyperbole during the Obama administration coming from the right. But I think that this is different because we are hyperbole is always based on thinking somebody is wrong. But their hostility and hyperbole is based on thinking we’re evil. That’s the difference. How do we deal with this? Why is Biden saying this stuff?
GUY BENSON, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: I think he wanted to give a very angry seeming speech to paper over the fact that he’s not calling for the filibuster to go away. I think he’s trying to do like a shiny object for the leftover here.
BENSON: But not actually doing the structural thing that they want him to do.
BENSON: So, that’s a serious answer. Now, look, but the more serious thing that I think I have to say, I think this show right now is an assault on democracy. Really.
PIRRO: Probably, sure.
BENSON: And this, this conversation may be the worst thing that’s happened since the Civil War.
GUTFELD: Oh, I think you’re right.
BENSON: And you should all be ashamed of yourselves for being a part of it.
GUTFELD: You know what? You’re saying that now but wait to the Vblock. Vblock is sort of — is going to be worse than the A.
BENSON: I cannot help but notice that all of the ladies are wearing white (INAUDIBLE) is that? Is that perhaps a little indication?
GUTFELD: I took good point.
KATHERINE TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR (on camera): I don’t get ashamed of myself.
GUTFELD: That’s true, but you’re also wearing camouflage pants.
TIMPF: I’m doing it for the troops.
GUTFELD: I bet you —
BENSON: I bet you they appreciate it. Yes.
TIMPF: I’m doing it for the troops. I married a veteran, I got you know how it does support the troop.
PIRRO: Why for the troops?
GUTFELD: You’re supporting one troop.
TIMPF: I’m so — I’m (INAUDIBLE), I’m — I’ve deeply supported that.
GUTFELD: All right, I’m going to go talk to our new guests.
GUTFELD: So, you just sit there and be polite.
TIMPF: Well, I don’t OK. I’ll try.
GUTFELD: So, Erin, welcome to the show.
ERIN ELMORE, CONTRIBUTOR, TURNING POINT USA: Thank you for having me.
GUTFELD: And I’m —
ELMORE: The pleasure is all yours.
GUTFELD: I’m glad you wore white.
ELMMORE: I’m very (INAUDIBLE).
GUTFELD: What do you make of this Civil War claim and how is it — how does this help the Democrats at all?
ELMORE: Well, basically, this is like a real episode of the House washes Democrat Party.
ELMORE: This is a whole season arc. January 6th is the season arc, right?
GUTFELD: Right, right.
ELMORE: And they’re using big words and fancy slogans to try to get them through the season too. So, they can get to that next paycheck.
ELMORE: But having said that, I mean, he doesn’t know what hyperbole is. It’s not one of the 31 flavors of Baskin Robbins.
ELMORE: I mean, so, he is the reason why he’s peyote, OK? Is because he thought Texas’s voting law was too complicated and didn’t want to make it too difficult for a few people to vote.
So, like what’s complicated is getting a flat tire or getting a cavity filled. Those things are complicated and inconvenient. Showing your I.D. to vote is pretty standard fare. So, what does he want? A fair?
Does he want like, I don’t know, a booth with little girls, we can sniff their hair, and they can have Hunter Biden’s finger paints there to show off while you’re waiting to vote? What does he asking for?
GUTFELD: By the way, I have to fact-check you, those aren’t finger paints.
ELMORE: Oh, he uses a straw and —
GUTFELD: Yes, he uses a straw. Quite good at it.
ELMORE: He has got a lot of practice.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes, yes.
GUTFELD: So, Kat, I feel like I would be — if I was watching something like CNN, I would feel exhausted because every time I turn it on, there’s always a new existential risk.
TIMPF: Yes, it’s so dramatic.
TIMPF: Right? Like with Joe Biden, he’s not talking to really Republicans about this stuff. He is just saying all these super — making these super dramatic public pronouncements.
Like if you have a friend, you knew that friend, you canceled dinner plans with her, and she’s like, that’s fine. You go on her Instagram, she’s posting all these things about like toxic friends and like —
TIMPF: They’ll make someone a priority when you’re only an option. Hashtag so true. It’s like my grandma’s in the hospital, Jessica. You know, except like it’s worse. Because it’s tearing the country apart over stuff that isn’t true and is dramatic, which is way worse than just, you know, Jessica going and talking to Sarah about the country.
That it’s worse because it’s tearing the country apart over stuff that isn’t true and is dramatic, which is way worse than just you know, Jessica going and talking to Sarah about you behind your back.
GUTFELD: Do you think the country actually notices this bifurcating nonsense or is it just because we’re in this business?
TIMPF: Unfortunately, I think it’s because we’re in this business.
TIMPDF: Unfortunately, I think people it’s they have other jobs where they’re, you know —
GUTFELD: I would say, fortunately.
TIMPF: Well, yes, they don’t have to sit there and read. I love my job. I mean, (INAUDIBLE) you know the luckiest girl in the world.
GUTFELD: You are. You’re working with me.
TIMPF: Yes. Yes, you’re great.
GUTFELD: Yes. Who wouldn’t — Who wouldn’t want to work with me? Right, Judge?
PIRRO: Yes, I love working with you.
GUTFELD: Do you, really?
PIRRO: Yes, no. I think —
TIMPF: They just believe it. I think they believe it and then people get so amped up and the country gets torn apart like, oh, if you support this, what do you want? Well, then, you — then you like slavery.
TIMPF: And people just actually think those things. It’s awful.
PIRRO: But you know what? I think it’s not just people watch we’re in our – – I think everybody’s mad out there. I mean, you look at people like right now when I drive, I just like (INAUDIBLE) the wheel. I don’t get upset. I don’t blow the horn. I’m afraid someone’s going to shoot that.
GUTFELD: How fast you going?
PIRRO: Stop it. Stop it. What do you laughing at, OK?
Now, listen, so, I don’t say anything. It’s like everybody is so nuts, you’re afraid they’re going to come at you.
GUTFELD: What are you driving these days?
PIRRO: An airplane.
GUTFLED: What are you driving? You’re driving a —
PIRRO: No, I’m driving my SUV with my poodles.
GUTFELD: All right, my poodles. I don’t even know what I’m thinking right now.
OK, up next. Are Dems feeling blue about prospects in 2022?
GUTFELD: Republicans are red, Democrats are blue, but with a less hold on Congress and in 22. Through the next midterm is making Democrats squirm for it appears that the left weren’t cops could put Republicans on top.
That’s the fear brewing over at MSNBC, a channel mostly watched by people who lost the remote in a fold of fat.
This anchor this week.
PIRRO: I want to be you.
GUTFELD: I know, you don’t.
Yes, I’m going to go down in flames, trust me. This week, anchor Stephanie Ruhle sounded the alarm over the GOP picking up seats in the 2022 midterms.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
STEPHANIE RUHLE, CORRESPONDENT, NBC NEWS: We’re more than a year out from the midterms. But Democrats are already facing an uphill climb. It comes as cities across the country are grappling with a serious surge in violent crime.
Now, Republicans like former President Trump are seizing on that to — and seizing on that, and trying to tie Democrats and their defund the police messaging to heading into next year, claiming that messaging is the reason for this spike in crime. Very bad news for Democrats with a razor thin House majority and a tie in the Senate.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: So, the other side finally acknowledged the crime surge. But the real problem to them is not the suffering of civilians, but the political fallout that the Republicans are seizing on it, and tying it to defend the police messaging.
Sorry, Steph, it was the Democrats who tied a surge in violent crime to a decrease in policing by pushing the decrease in policing, which led to the surge in violent crime. No one had to seize anything except the poor citizens grabbing their kids to protect them from random gunfire.
But I wonder if Democrats do not fight back, what are the odds of a red wave?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RUHLE: If Democrats do not fight back, what are the odds of a red wave?
RACHEL BITECOFER, HOST, THE ELECTION WHISPERER: They’re excellent.
RUHLE: Republicans are really, really good at branding, irrelevant of what the truth is. And they’ve got media networks that prop this up. Media networks that are considered news. How do you fight this?
BITECOFER: It’s actually not that hard, Stephanie. You know, the problem is you have to be able to see the solution and develop —
RUHLE: That’s not happening.
BITECOFER: Right. Well, I mean, it’s happening here. It’s been happening on my Twitter thread.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: It’s —
GUTFELD: It’s happening on her Twitter thread.
PIRRO: She’s got the answer.
GUTFELD: That settles it.
PIRRO: Yes, check out the answer.
GUTFELD: Pack it in GOP. This woman’s Twitter thread says your toast.
TIMPF: The cat lady says we’re toast.
GUTFELD: Yes. So, it’s going to take some really clever tweets to change voter’s views about murder. And also to overcome the nauseating wokers and paralyzing the party. Right, James?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JAMES CARVILLE, POLITICAL CONTRIBUTOR, CNN: But letting a noisy wing of our party define the rest of us. I think a very naive and they’re all into language and identity. And that that’s all right. They’re not storming the Capitol that — but they’re not winning elections.
And I think people sort of see this for what it is, and people are way more interested in their lives and how to improve them than they are in somebody else’s pronoun or something.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: I loved him in Nightmare on Elm Street. Hey, so, Guy, Guy, it seems like there’s two variables that are — that are handicapping the Democrats here. It’s the big screw-up on crime, and also this obsession with wokeism identity politics, intersectionality that is alienating them from the average person.
BENSON: First of all, I’d like to fact-check Stephanie Ruhle because this week, we conservatives are not seizing on this weird pouncing.
BENSON: So, I just want to make that clear. This week, we’re pouncing on this crime problem.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes.
BENSON: I wonder if they’re trying to force the Democrats to care about crime and take it more seriously, not to stop the bloodshed in the streets, but because they need to stop the Republicans.
BENSON: Because sort of a very strange way to come at it. But I think that there might be something to that. And you’re seeing some backpedaling now. I saw a piece last week where top Democrats are quietly whispering to reporters saying, oh, no, we’re actually kind of worried about the woke stuff, and the crime stuff, and how voters perceive us as very unlikeable and scolding in all this stuff.
And they’re like, OK, you don’t have to whisper it. You can say it out loud. You go to war with your own base, they don’t want to do that. So, if they’re going to try to make an adjustment midstream here, I think it might be too late because there’s a hardcore element of their base that will never accept it.
And voters have been awake for the last two years.
BENSON: We’ve seen what has happened. And now like a tweak of the messaging, which James Carville is clearly begging them to try, I think that would be sort of window dressing at this point.
BENSON: Because the results speak for themselves.
GUTFELD: Yes, it’s ironic, Judge that it’s being woke that kept them from waking up.
PIRRO: Yes, yes. And you know what else? What else is ironic is the fact that they, they, for the longest time have talked about Black Lives Matter. But Black Lives Matter only if that black live is taken at the hands of a police officer, which turns out to be 0.014 percent of the — of the shootings of blacks, because the majority is black on black crime.
I mean, they indicate time and time again, that their concern is not for the victim. They’re concerned if you watch the DNC if you remember it from last summer, that convention, when the cities are burning down and businesses and everything else that they didn’t really care, they never talked about crime.
PIRRO: They never talked about any of this stuff. So, if they think they can, like rebrand themselves now, they’re out of their minds. It’s not going to happen. Because as you know, Greg, this week, I mean, somebody threw hot water in 47th and sixth.
GUTFELD: Yes. Kilmeade.
He always does that. That’s crazy. I mean, but that’s — that speaks to the bizarre crimes of New York. That we talked about this like a year ago, it’s like it’s not just regular crime that people stealing?
PIRRO: It’s crazy people.
GUTFELD: It’s crazy crime.
PIRRO: Yes, it’s crazy people.
GUTFELD: People just decided to lash out, Kat, and attack just innocent people.
GUTFELD: What are — what are the — how do the libertarians look in 2022?
TIMF: Oh, I think this is going to be our year. I’m predicting a libertarian way.
PIRRO: Oh, what color? What color is that?
ELMORE: Camel, it’s camel.
TIMPF: Gold wave.
PIRRO: Gold, OK.
TIMPF: Gold wave, everyone’s going to vote gold. Porcupine’s everywhere.
GUTFELD: Yes, it’s going to be — it’s going to be a golden shower.
TIMPF: Oh, it’s yes.
TIMPF: Actually —
TIMPF: Actually —
GUTFELD: Get out of here.
TIMPF: Seeing as — seeing as we had a presidential candidate that one time made official campaign t shirts that said, hashtag feel the Johnson on the back —
TIMPF: I would not be surprised if that’s an official slogan.
BENSON: SO, you’re talking about an invisible wave, as what the libertarians —
TIMPF: Oh, no. Huge, huge.
GUTFELD: But, Erin, it usually the outside party that when that’s not in the White House always has a wave that in two years later it happened. It even how, you know, under Trump, the Democrats had a mild blue wave. What do you make it? What do you — what do you predict? What do you see?
ELMORE: Historically speaking, you’re accurate. I’m not Miss Cleo from the psychic friends network.
GUTFELD: She died recently, (INAUDIBLE)
TIMPF: She died, R.I.P.
ELMORE: Rest — R.I.P.
GUTFELD: You didn’t see it coming.
ELMORE: I miss her every day. That was too good.
GUTFELD: I love her. I love her.
ELMORE: I love her too. I wish I would have got her on the phone. The problem is, is Iike think the horse is out of the barn as they say, on this problem because Soros(PH) or I just want to say that.
People have funded these very liberal district attorneys at all of the major city.
ELMORE: They are pro-criminal, they are anti-law and order, and those people are getting re-elected and reelected, and the inner city crime is skyrocketing.
I mean, of course, as the liberals say it’s mostly peaceful crime.
ELMORE: As the city burns behind us.
ELMORE: But the problem that the Democrats are going to have is when you start making housewives mad, you’re making everybody mad. Because when their kids aren’t in school, they can’t start drinking Chardonnay at 9:00 a.m.
GUTFELD: Yes, it is true.
ELMORE: They got to run for school board and they have had it. They are fed up with they can’t go downtown and sip their drinks at 11:00 a.m. and then go drunk shopping at Bloomingdales, now, can they?
TIMPF: Wait, is that what being a mom is like?
GUTFELD: Signed you up.
TIMPF: I get, get out on that.
ELMORE: Get on board.
GUTFELD: Yes, all right.
Up next, you won’t believe your eyes when you see this guns disguise.
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: It’s the Glock made of blocks. Yes, it’s the silliest excuse for a firearm since the salad shooter. Check out this real Glock 19 pistol dubbed the Block 19. A Utah Gun Shop came up with this custom kit that wraps the firearm in actual Legos. Well, at least it didn’t look like the Capitol building. It’s a pretty good joke there. Nobody cares.
The company said it “wanted the Second Amendment to simply be too painful to tread on.” Clever. Can’t wait to see their other ideas like a knife shaped like a Malibu Barbie. The last silence, we checked and the gun is no longer available on the store’s Web site, after Lego sent a cease and desist letter. I believe we have a picture of it being delivered.
Meanwhile, the founder of Moms Demand Action in inadvertently made the case for Second Amendment supporters, tweeting in part: “Federal law prohibits toys for being manufactured to look like guns, but no law prohibits guns from being made to look like toys.” Awesome. Wait until they see my Lincoln log AK-47. Judge, you’re going to hate that. All right, Kat, you have one important thing to say about this?
TIMPF: I just have one thing to say which is I get why people will be upset, you know they’re making a gun look like a child’s toy. However, and I am not, I am not a mother, so maybe I just don’t get it, some other mother, I feel like if you have kids in the home, your gun safety measures should, you know, be able to stand up against the threat level kid thinks that looks cool. Anyway.
GUTFELD: Yes, that was really unusual point.
TIMPF: No. Why?
GUTFELD: I don’t know. I just didn’t get it.
TIMPF: Why? No, I just feel like every — kid’s going to play with a gun, it looks like a fun thing for the kid to play with. It’s like, well, yes, but like, they — you should have measures in place in the home where they can’t get to the gun no matter what it looks like.
PIRRO: Yes, exactly.
GUTFELD: Exactly, Judge?
TIMPF: Yes, thank you.
TIMPF: That wasn’t very nice, Greg. I’m doing my best.
GUTFELD: I can feel the crowd turning on me. That’s more I like it.
BENSON: Some rage.
GUTFELD: Yes. Erin, what do you make of this?
ERIN ELMORE, TURNING POINT USA CONTRIBUTOR: OK, there’s a lot a lot to unpack here because I am a mother. Guns don’t kill people. Legos kill parents. I’m going to send Lego a cease and desist. Have you ever in the middle of night, maybe a few cocktails, maybe not, walk to get some water in the kitchen and stepped on a Lego?
ELMORE: Because I have.
ELMORE: The expletives that came out of my mouth are harsher than anything even you would say. And the white light of Christ is what you see. So, you know what, this gun has nothing on what kids are doing with those Legos. I mean, nothing. You have bruises for a week, you can’t walk, you need crutches, you need like one of those bamboo canes. It’s a nightmare. Forget the Legos. These Legos deserve no sympathy. None.
TIMPF: You know, mom sounds wild.
GUTFELD: By the way.
GUTFELD: By the way. I mean, let’s face it, guy. This was a, this is a brilliant publicity stunt. They didn’t make — they made one model. They put it out there. They ended up on two amazing hit shows “THE FIVE and the GUTFELD! I mean, it worked on me, because I looked at it and I go this is really interesting and provocative, much like you Guy.
BENSON: Are they? Yes, I’m both of those things. Are they still going to move forward though with your custom ordered pink bedazzled Beretta? That’s what I want to know because you’ve been waiting for that for a few months.
GUTFELD: Yes, it’s got to be the right size so I can hide it.
ELMORE: Real men wear pink.
GUTFELD: Yes. Judge, I made this point earlier on “THE FIVE,” our sister show, that almost beat the message here is that a lot of things that are on a gun or decorative? Like, how, you know, how the left always confuses a rifle with, with, with an assault rifle because they see the decorations. And they go oh my god, no, people just pimp their guns the way they pimp their rides.
GUTFELD: So, what do you make of this? But you have very strong feelings about this.
PIRRO: Well, here’s the problem. Now, I see it not the humorous way. I mean, sure, they’re pimping the gun. But you know, Lego wrote after Michael Bloomberg got in touch with Lego and said cease and desist and they have to because this gun doesn’t have that cut, doesn’t have that patent. But here’s the issue, if you’re on the street, and you’re a cop, and you see someone who’s got that, are you stopping and saying is that a toy gun or is that a real?
PIRRO: Because if a cop hesitates for one second and gets killed, that’s a problem. Maybe with a toy gun that looks like that, now that we know guns can be made like that, is the cop shooting at someone who has a toy gun? This because it’s so much like a Glock, is it’s, it’s, it’s potentially very bad situation.
GUTFELD: It is a Glock. I mean it’s a real gun.
PIRRO: It is a real gun and it’s, it’s, it’s a Glock
GUTFELD: It’s a Glock, a real gun.
BENSON: And the, the appeal to kids thing is also real, right? Like, a kid say oh, that looks like cool like a toy. And tragically there are instances where kids mess around with a real gun and shoot themselves —
PIRRO: And that’s why every worst —
PIRRO: Puts a gun in a, in a in a safe. I mean that’s what you have to do.
ELMORE: Once you solve the problem, make Lego cigarettes for kids.
GUTFELD: There you go. I’d smoke those. All right. Up next, why are students saying no way to campus Chick-Fil-A?
GUTFELD: Is there anything more lame than the students at Notre Dame? Yes, gone are the good old days when college students protested wars are fought for equal rights. Today, a Christian restaurant coming to a Christian University is cause for outrage. Nearly 200 students at the University of Notre Dame, it’s an actual college, Kat, are protesting the possible addition of a Chick-Fil-A to campus dining.
The group of undergrads and some faculty signed an open letter published in the school paper criticizing the restaurant and its CEO for his Christian beliefs. Writing, “Our first concern relates to Chick-Fil-A’s long history of antagonism toward the LGBTQ-plus community. Over the past two decades, Chick-Fil-A has donated significant sums to groups that oppose LGBTQ-plus rights.”
It’s true Chick-Fil-A has donated money to the fellowship of Christian Athletes, the Paul Anderson Youth Home, and the Salvation Army, you know those hate groups. So, instead of debating such positions, they’d rather just banned those who hold those position. Seems to me that they are the real chickens here. They also scolded the menu writing in part, “Consisting primarily of fried chicken and potatoes, the menu at Chick-Fil-A does not supply an array of options suitable for a diverse campus community.”
They clearly never had their Polynesian sauce. That’s diverse these campus leftists remained silent, while the hamburglar continues his life of crime guy. What kind of priorities does this show when the hamburglar is all over the city? Doing whatever it wants, and it’s a striped shirt.
BENSON: I’m still trying to figure out a joke I can make about the Polynesian sauce and Matteo and his fake girlfriend, which is a good dig at Notre Dame for people who are big sports nerds. Yes, look, I am very happy to take every shot available at Notre Dame because I root against them in football. I will note for these students. They have literally Jesus overlooking their football.
Right, this is the school that they chose to attend. So, that’s a thing about Notre Dame. And the other point I’ll make briefly in their defense, which I’m loathed to do But I’ll try. It’s 180 kids. Out of 8600 kids who go to the school so that’s roughly two percent. My guess is if you pull the other 98 percent almost all women say yes, I would like some delicious fried chicken and take your politics elsewhere.
GUTFELD: Yes, they would say, those other people suck. That’s what they probably say. You know, Judge, shouldn’t these people be boycotting their own school for its religious affiliation?
PIRRO: Yes, you know, that’s a great point. I mean, if you don’t want Chick-Fil-A, because they gave to organizations that are anti-LGBTQ-plus —
GUTFELD: Well done.
PIRRO: LGBTQ-plus. I got it right. LGBTQ-plus. OK, you know, so why you would Notre Dame? I mean, yes, this — it’s a Catholic University. OK, I mean, they’re just stupid. I guess maybe they’re not woke enough.
GUTFELD: They’re not woke enough, Kat. What’s your theory? Or do you have a theory? Do you care?
TIMPF: I’m a, I’m a lapsed Catholic. I still will eat the Christian chicken, though. It’s not that deep. Like, I’d say it’s not that deep. And also like, gay marriage, Supreme Court decided it’s legal, and that’s great. And that’s decided and the chickens not going to change that. So, they can let it go.
GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. And it is good chicken.
TIMPF: It’s so good.
PIRRO: But it’s got a lot of salt in it.
TIMPF: Yes, but —
GUTFELD: Wow. You know, with that salt scrum, liberal tears. Ah, thank you very much.
GUTFELD: And your thoughts on this topic?
ELMORE: I just want to know where these 180 kids and by the way, it’s not just 180 because one bad nugget spoils the bunch.
BENSON: That is a great joke, and I think that is —
ELMORE: Well, what my point is, is where do these kids think they’re going to school at the (INAUDIBLE) school of photography? It’s a Catholic school. We’ve said that, and I feel bad for those Chick-Fil-A Cals that say eat more chicken. They’re like, why is this green Lucky Charms mascot picking on me? I’m just a mascot for chicken.
GUTFELD: You know what it is? I think this obsession with Chick-Fil-A is a bigger story about how the left needs to have everything in her camp, right? It’s like you got the media. You got entertainment. You got academia. You’re getting sports. I mean, that’s happening.
TIMPF: Yes, but Neriah Chicken.
GUTFELD: Yes, no, they’ve got to have that. They need that delicious chicken sandwich. It’s like they’re like an either — they’re an all consuming ideological beast. And if chick, they need Chick-Fil-A to join them or they must be crushed.
BENSON: One of my favorite things that happened in this stupid chicken war was when Chick-Fil-A was expanding to New York City where it had not previously existed. And you had these idiots in the city council running around to all the cameras saying hate is not welcome in this city. No one wants this chicken here. And then they open their locations all up and down Sixth Avenue right here and they were lying around the block. New Yorkers are speaking, which is they like chicken and don’t care about your politics.
GUTFELD: Right, and that’s the way it should be.
PIRRO: But it’s about putting politics in everything. Everything and then hyperbole. It’s all the same.
GUTFELD: It’s the special sauce.
PIRRO: It’s got salt in it.
GUTFELD: All right. Up next, a hospital whoops a daisy called cause a foul up. That’s crazy.
GUTFELD: They wish they could recant that kidney transplant. Yes, the surgery was a success, but the patient mix up was a mess. Two employees from an Ohio hospital have been placed on leave after giving a kidney to the wrong patient. As if that was bad enough, another transplant patient says that she just hates her new penis. Still, under Obamacare, it’s considered a stunning success. Red Meat joke. Luckily the recipient is alive and the kidney is compatible.
The hospital did not immediately return to Fox News request for comment or perhaps they accidentally returned a comment meant for Fox News to CNN. See where that happened there? Judge, you’re pretty smart. So, I’m going to ask you this question that’s been bothering me for ever since I was a child. Why? Why do we have two kidneys? Like we have a backup kidney. But we don’t have two hearts, and we don’t have two livers, Kat, which is her — Kat, should have two livers.
TIMPF: It regrows. It regenerates.
GUTFELD: Oh, that’s why we don’t have two livers.
PIRRO: Very good. That’s right.
GUTFELD: Good point. Good point. But wouldn’t it be great if we had two hearts? Two hearts are better than one, according to —
PIRRO: No, if you, if you have a broken heart, I mean you remember, you never forget it. You can have a broken heart and say it doesn’t matter, I got another heart. You know, let, let that one go.
GUTFELD: But that’s what we do with kidneys.
PIRRO: Because we have to kidneys.
GUTFELD: That’s my point. Why are kidneys, why do they get the spare kidney?
BENSON: Are you are you questioning the Lord?
GUTFELD: I’m, I’m questioning evolution. Why didn’t we evolve to have two – – yes!
TIMPF: E-mails are coming in. They’ve stopped e-mailing me, now they’re e- mailing you.
BENSON: I used to go to Notre Dame.
PIRRO: What I want to know is the person who improperly got the kidney, was that person waiting for a kidney? Because they said it was compatible.
TIMPF: But he wanted a boob job.
PIRRO: No, but they said it was compatible.
ELMORE: That’s not exactly plastic surgery.
GUTFELD: That, Kat, raises a really interesting. Why is it hospital mistakes are never in the reverse direction? Like you never wake up and they go, Mr. Gutfeld, we accidentally lipoed your love handles, but because you didn’t ask for it, we’re not going to charge you. It’s never a positive mistake. It’s always in the wrong direction, and that is alarming.
TIMPF: It’s incredibly alarming. I mean, if these people see John Q., it’s not easy, just get a kidney.
PIRRO: You’re right.
TIMPF: It’s really hard.
PIRRO: That is brilliant.
TIMPF: Thank you, Judge. I like her. I mean, like I check you know, you have a cabbie check make sure your wallet, you don’t leave it behind. So, you know, there’s ever a time to double check.
GUTFELD: I mean, you think they’d have like a little checklist, Erin, that would have prevented his problem.
ELMORE: You would think, you know, judge is more of the attorney than I. Hell, I did go to — this sounds like a bit of malpractice, maybe just a bit.
PIRRO: It went to the wrong guy. So, the guy who was waiting for the kidney now is to wait, they say five to 10 years?
GUTFELD: Crazy. That’s because kidneys are rare. Guy, what’s your take on this?
PIRRO: So, why don’t they take it out?
GUTFELD: Oh, that’s a good point. Should they take the kidney back?
BENSON: So, I didn’t go to medical school. So, I’m going to go out on a limb and say my position on the kidney going to the wrong person is, it’s bad. It should not have happened. And I’m going to, I’m going to stand firm on this. This is bad.
PIRRO: And lesson learned.
BENSON: You’d hope so. I feel like this would be like the first and last thing you do before you actually cut someone open and put something in them permanently. It’s just like, triple check. Oh, yes, same person, photograph, name, thing on the bracelet.
PIRRO: That’s so sad.
TIMPF: They should give the kidney back and then give the other person another surgery that they want.
GUTFELD: There you go. There you go. By the way, I — by the way, I didn’t go to medical school and that doesn’t stop me from performing surgeries. Sometimes you got to dare to dream. All right. This show’s almost over. But don’t go anywhere.
GUTFELD: We’re out of time. Set your DVRs every night so you never miss an episode. Thanks to the great Judge Jeanine, Guy Benson, Erin Elmore, Kat Timpf, our studio audience. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with evil Shannon Bream is next. I’m Greg Gutfeld. I love you, America.
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