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This is a rush transcript of “Gutfeld!” on February 15, 2022. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST (on camera): Yes. I didn’t read this by the way, he’s like (INAUDIBLE) that is true. That is true. Clap you people. Clap like you’re an audience, and not some unsorted employees I dragged in here.
Happy Tuesday, everyone. So, how was your Valentine’s Day? Kat said she spent the night in cuffs. Well, the ATF had their way she could have spent it in jail as well.
KATHERINE TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR (on camera): I get it.
GUTFELD: The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives tweeted a plea to disgruntled exes to share info on former lovers involved in illegal activity. “Valentine’s Day can still be fun, even if you broke up. Do you have information about a former or current partner involved in illegal activity? Let us know and we will make sure it’s a Valentine’s Day to remember.”
Now, you know that I am a law in order guy, not this show. That sucks. I mean, the real thing, but this creeps me out. Mainly because you never want to rely on bitter exes for anything. She or he could call 911 and say are holed up in a basement with an arsenal larger than the Sinaloa?
TYRUS, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR (voice-over): Sounds right.
GUTFELD: Yes, cartel. And hip-hop or it’s combined. When really —
GUTFELD: Yes. When really you’re just eating pizza in your underwear. We call that the Doocy.
Anyway, we’ve actually obtained the first few phone calls to the ATF.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: ATF, what’s your emergency?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: My wife, she’s being erratic. She’s drunk and she’s doing arts and crafts.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: OK, calm down. Does she have a gun?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes. She’s using it to stick rhinestones everywhere.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: OK, sir. That’s a hot glue gun. Please hang up.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Wait, wait, wait. She also has a van full of ammonium nitrate parked outside Joann Fabrics.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We’re on our way.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Awesome. Thanks.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: ATF. What’s your emergency?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hi. Yes. My husband is acting crazy.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Is there alcohol or tobacco involved?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: No.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Are there firearms?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Well, he just watched all the Dirty Harry movies and I’m pretty sure he’s about to start John Wick.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Keep him where he is. We’ll be right there.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: ATF, what’s your emergency?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: My boyfriend left for work and he’s being such a jerk.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Are their weapons or contraband in the house?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No, I’m by myself. Just me and my bikini.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Ma’am. You’re aware you call the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, I love a man in uniform. I’m just so lonely. Are you lonely?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So, there’s no gun present?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I thought maybe you could bring yours. I need the long arm of the law.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh boy. I’ll be right over.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: There you go. Nice one.
So, yes, like a drug sniffing Datsun, this won’t catch criminals. What’s next? Starting a fight at the Thanksgiving table to see which one of your relatives is strapped? And we all know snitches get stitches. Martha has that tattooed on her ankle.
MARTHA MACCALLUM, FOX NEWS CHANNEL ANCHOR (on camera): I do.
GUTFELD: So, look, it was a cute idea, but it helps no one, especially Christina Yuna Lee. She was murdered by a homeless fiend, talk about a hard-right turn. He allegedly stabbed her 40 times after following her into a Chinatown apartment early Sunday. The killer, you already know the drill. Living in a shelter because there’s no place for the criminally deranged. They should have tried getting him a job as a CNN producer.
He had dozens of arrests and was is busted on January 6th, but fried on supervised release. Yes, supervised release. How does that work? Unless that means a cop following this cycle around 24/7. I don’t want to hear about it anymore because it doesn’t work at all.
Meanwhile, actual January 6th, 2020 defendants weren’t even given bail. So, this guy is locked up, he finally figured out how to stay arrested.
Murder someone. That’s the bar now for inclusion, which coincidentally is the same bar gangs like M.S.-13 use for initiation, because nothing else sticks in a hells cape where felony assault and grand larceny are like ripping off the tag from a mattress.
But hey, if only one of the killers’ exes had seen the ATF tweet, who knew? We could have tricked him with a Whitman’s Sampler or have his ex make a reservation at Applebee’s and then slap the cuffs on him during desert.
But what’s the point of having people narc on each other, when you don’t even lock up the people you already busted? It’s the cart before the police horse. Maybe figure out how to keep these monsters behind bars before you figure out clever ways to grab more. They need to figure this out. Just look at what we did five years ago before Democrats screwed this — up.
Right now, heinous criminals roam like free range chicken, and progressive D.A.s hide from the mayhem they cause. No wonder they love mask mandates. I’d wear a mask too if I were them. These crimes keep happening and what follows outrage mostly on Fox, then it’s forgotten. Rinse blood, and repeat.
Many victims are Asian. When will the Asian leaders who represent them do something big? Creating a cupids when 800 crime line on Valentine’s Day is not enough.
And forget platitudes about stopping Asian hate, homeless thugs don’t read tweets from the mayor’s office. It’s up to you, Asian groups, because other groups just aren’t that into you. There’s no Asian Lives Matter group fighting on your behalf.
Instead, they judge you as a group they’re trying to keep out of college. And they call that anti-racist. And don’t expect help from the Dems either, they’re literally — they literally doubt that women exist.
Hell AOC just blamed the crime surge on the expired Child Tax Credit.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
REP. ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ (D-NY): We don’t want to say some of the things that are — that are obvious, like, gee, the Child Tax Credit, just ran out on December 31st, and now people are stealing baby formula. We don’t want to have that discussion.
We want to say these people are criminals. And we want to talk about people that are violent instead of environments of violence. And what we are doing to either contribute or to dismantle that.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Oh, my God. Yes, that’s what’s causing all the smash and grabs, the carjackings, the stabbings. What an ignorant statement. How does she not own at least a dozen cats?
Actually, these environments of violence weren’t so violent before loons like her got into power. And sorry, lady, we talk about this stuff every day. I’d ask where you bend but we all know planning trips to Florida.
We’ve talked to the victim’s families as we pored over the stats, and so far not one person was beaten to death for baby formula. In fact, the people struggling in this lockdown economy aren’t stealing baby formula at all. They’re wondering why they’re no longer safe on their way home.
AOC, these victims aren’t ideas or political constructs. These are women who bleed to death when they are stabbed.
AOC claimed her life was in danger because of a riot in a building she wasn’t even in, but dismisses actual murder as a problem over taxes. What’s next? Her critics are sexually frustrated? Christina Yuna Lee wasn’t butchered to death over baby formula in an environment of violence. She was a young Asian woman followed to her home, where that became an environment of violence.
That AOC in her side helped create while living in a safe, make-believe abstract world.
And they dusted the murder scene for prints. They may not have found yours, AOC, but your bad ideas were an accessory.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period!
GUTFELD: Let’s welcome tonight’s guests. She is our favorite MacCallum not named single malt. Host of “THE STORY” Martha MacCallum.
She is been in more locker rooms than athlete’s foot. Former NBC Sportscaster Michele Tafoya.
She is like a rake from Home Depot, thin, pointy, and face down in your yard. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf.
And he uses a leaf blower to make a salad. My massive sidekick and the NWA World Television Champion, Tyrus.
Michele, welcome to the show. So happy to have you here.
MICHELE TAFOYA, FORMER SPORTSCASTER, NBC: Thank you. I’m excited to be here.
GUTFELD: A fellow Golden Bear. We’re Golden Bears.
TAFOYA: Well, you know, I sent my diploma back, so I’m not sure I’m still – – I still have claimed that. My husband told me, you know, once you send that back, you can’t say you graduated from the University of California in Berkeley. And I said, OK, that’s fine.
GUTFELD: Yes. So, you have regrets too. I — what I remember it wasn’t very good for me either. You know, we got to talk about this AOC equation. Tax credit, baby formula, murder.
I mean, it’s so simple. Why didn’t we figure this out?
TAFOYA: She might as well learn that at (INAUDIBLE) but, you know, that is so bizarre, but I grapple with every time she speaks because I asked myself, why do we pay attention to this woman? But obviously, she gets tons of publicity because she’s a master at getting tons of publicity.
TAFOYA: And people do need to respond to some of the insanity she spews. One of the things that I read that she said was the biggest thing that Joe Biden could do right now, the most important thing he could do is forgive student debt.
TAFOYA: And I’m sitting here thinking, that’s the most important —
TAFOYA: I mean, this was one of the headliners in this piece that she did with The New Yorker. So, she — she’s very off.
TAFOYA: And she also said that, you know, Congress is a — I’m allowed to use the S.H. word, right?
TAFOYA: And also, it’s in deep (BLEEP) or whatever.
TAFOYA: So, yes, it’s been that way for a long time. She didn’t help.
GUTFELD: No, she made it — she actually makes it worse — she thinks she’s above it. She thinks he’s above Congress and she lives in this kind of — she lives in an abstract collegiate world, right? Where none — like all these practical things and bad things that happen in the world don’t really affect her. So, she makes these — like, it’s definitely baby formula, Martha. It’s definitely baby formula.
MACCALLUM: It’s so twisted. How — in what world does this woman who represents New York, not bend over backwards to talk about this woman who was followed six flights up?
MACCALLUM: By this man who is deranged, who has been arrested I think 12 times in the past several years. And why isn’t she’s screaming from the rooftops, this just man should be in jail?
MACCALLUM: And protect this young woman — young, beautiful New Yorker like herself, who she apparently has, you know, no affinity —
GUTFELD: Right, right.
MACCALLUM: Or no sympathy for. She’s blaming it on baby formula. Apparently, there’s some racket that was, you know, wiping baby formula off the shelves and selling it on the black market. She — and then she says, you know, the problem is that we ignore the reasons behind things.
MACCALLUM: She is ignoring all the reasons behind things. And professing to know what’s going on when she just obviously doesn’t know what’s going on in any one of the stories.
GUTFELD: No, no, it’s amazing. Tyrus, I really want to know how you feel about the ATFX’s narking story. But if you’d like to touch on the other ones, you’re more than welcome. But I have a feeling you have strong feelings about that.
TYRUS: Yes, I had three visits from a sheriff this weekend.
TYRUS: So, a lot of stuff.
TYRUS: There were no weapons of mass destruction in the house. So, I mean, that was nice. But it was — the idea to promote not letting it go.
TYRUS: And to promote stalking.
TYRUS: In the name of the law is about as normal as someone saying to AOC when she says, gee, let’s have that conversation with a straight face. Go. Yes, let’s do it, go.
TYRUS: Because you’re walking out of that drooling and probably wetting yourself. Just the ridiculousness of her comments. They make no sense. And I think it’s by design.
TYRUS: How are you a socialist but you’re complaining about how much money you get paid? It doesn’t make sense. It’s like she’s — either she’s an evil genius who is doing this for some other crazy reason or nobody bothered to read the resume at the bottom. And I think a lot of people who voted are going to be — have to be looking in the mirror going —
GUTFELD: But she’s got a future.
TYRUS: She had two vowels in her nickname. You thought that meant that she had some stuff behind it?
GUTFELD: Yes, there you go.
TYRUS: Gee. Let’s have that —
GUTFELD: Gee, Let’s have that conversation because no one talks about crime. Nobody does except —
TYRUS: No one talks about baby powder.
GUTFELD: Yes. Well, it’s actually no baby formula.
TAFOYA: Baby formula.
TYRUS: No one knows better than me, Greg. OK? OK?
GUTFELD: I once confused the two. Oh, boy. Was that embarrassing?
MACCALLUM: Oh. That’s (INAUDIBLE)
GUTFELD: Yes. You can’t — don’t try to put on leather pants with baby formula. Right, Kat? Excellent voice work today on the skits.
TIMPF: Thank you.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes. Do you know that the press secretary — I just found this before the show, said that the rise in violence is because of hate filled rhetoric and language around the origins of the pandemic? We touched on this, that somehow, like all these homeless dudes are upset about — at Asian people over the pandemic.
TIMPF: I got to be honest. I never see them reading.
GUTFELD: No, I don’t.
TIMPF: You know, like I don’t think — I don’t think that that’s true.
GUTFELD: Yes. Yes.
TIMPF: Yes, I don’t. And with AOC, it’s what — she’s like –not only did she say something that was that ridiculous, but she’s like, nobody’s talking about this.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes.
TIMPF: And sometimes the reason no one’s talking about something is because it’s dumb.
GUTFELD: Right, yes.
TIMPF: Like it’s not — it’s not — there’s a reason nobody’s saying that. But again, she’s not a socialist. She — I always say this. She’s not a socialist. She has a French bulldog.
TIMPF: That just not exist without cat. That’s — OK. That’s not a rescue.
GUTFELD: No, that’s not a rescue, that’s a —
TIMPF: The expensive dog that is made — they don’t even have — they don’t have sex with each other. They have to be genetically engineered and then C-sections because their heads are too big. That dog does not exist without capitalism. So, all you do is look at her dogs, you know, she’s full —
GUTFELD: Yes. The other thing too — and we got to move on. I believe every — everything she gets is from another person. Like somebody goes, did you hear that all of these things are from baby formula? And it’s caused by — and then it goes into our brain and she goes — and then she just spits it out. She hasn’t thought about any of it.
TIMPF: And I can really empathize with that?
TYRUS: And she’s have a zoo lander.
TIMPF: But I’m not in a position of power.
GUTFELD: Yes. Well, you kind of are. All right.
TYRUS: She looks for kids who don’t really, really read good.
TYRUS: No one’s talking about it.
GUTFELD: Yes. All right. Up next, the road is blocked by a freighter so Canada needs a dictator.
GUTFELD: If peaceful protesters won’t withdraw, Trudeau is banking on martial law. Justin Trudeau, Canada’s most famous person of color, announced for the first time in its history that his country has invoked the emergencies act to crack down on the trucker protests.
After all those bouncy castles won’t deflate themselves. He says the measures will be time limited, reasonable, and proportionate, which is the same thing I said when I signed up for those pole dancing classes.
Anyway, here’s prime minister or prime miniature Pantene, showing off his brand new suburban mom hairstyle.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JUSTIN TRUDEAU, PRIME MINISTER OF CANADA: The Federal government has invoked the emergencies act to supplement provincial and territorial capacity to address the blockades and occupations.
We’re entering the third week of illegal blockades that have been disrupting the lives of too many Canadians. Here in our capital city, families and small businesses have been enduring illegal obstruction of their neighborhoods, occupying streets, harassing people, breaking the law.
This is about keeping Canadians safe.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: So, as to the emergency act, it was passed in 1988 — the same year I was born, Martha, and grants the government way more power in times of national crisis, like a war or too many polar bears.
But lawful protests do not qualify. Well, unless you believe a horn can take down the government. So, that’s debatable here. But the act also allows banks to freeze personal accounts with anyone linked to the protest without a court order.
And vehicle insurance for anyone involved can be canceled, which means the government can bankrupt anyone they don’t like. China must be licensing their ideas for oppression. Meanwhile, CNN continues to paint the protesters as something else entirely.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
MIGUEL MARQUEZ, SENIOR NATIONAL CORRESPONDENT, CNN: This has devolved from sort of vaccine mandate concerns to general mandate to concerns to just anger concerns about sort of too many government restrictions, and they want their freedom back whatever that means.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Whatever that means. It’s weird to have to tell a journalist, whatever that means. Maybe he’s not one. Martha, my theory, the prime minister got off to a really bad start. And he doesn’t have the balls to admit that he should start over with these truckers.
MACCALLUM: To put it in reverse and say, why don’t we talk?
MACCALLUM: Because when once you say that people have unacceptable views, you really sort of cleared the decks of sort of let’s meet in the middle, right?
GUTFELD: Right, there’s no middle.
MACCALLUM: I’m sorry, your views are unacceptable. It’s like how do you get sort of back — I blamed Pete Buttigieg who we don’t hear a lot from.
MACCALLUM: Transportation secretary, because he was one of the people who got on the phone and said, we think that you should, you know, work this out.
MACCALLUM: You should use your federal powers. Right? So, now they’ve used their federal powers and truckers are sending text messages, pictures of the texts that they’re getting that say we’ve just canceled your insurance, we’ve canceled the contract. You no longer have a job.
And I love, you know, that he says freedom, whatever that means.
MACCALLUM: It reminds me of when Prince Charles was engaged to Princess Diana, or then-Diana, and someone — and reporter said to him, you know, sir, are you very much in love? And he said, whatever that means.
GUTFELD: Hold on, as a producer, we need to acknowledge that Martha was able to work in a royal (INAUDIBLE) story into this —
MACCALLUM: Well, what I heard her saying whatever that means. That’s the first thing that’s going to my head.
GUTFELD: You know why? Because you are obsessed —
MACCALLUM: If you don’t know what love is, and you don’t know what freedom is —
TAFOYA: That’s right.
MACCALLUM: You better start at square one.
GUTFELD: I’m with Foreigner in the sense that I want to know what love is.
TAFOYA: Someone should show you.
GUTFELD: Yes. Oh, Michele.
You know, Kat, you love truckers, some say too much. Why do you think that Trudeau is clinging so tightly to these COVID mandates? He just can’t admit he was wrong?
TIMPF: Probably because he just can’t admit he was wrong.
GUTFELD: Thank you.
TIMPF: I mean —
GUTFELD: That’s why you’re here.
TIMPF: No, but this is really — this is really truly crazy. It’s not just the people who are there. But if you donated any money, they could just freeze your bank account. That’s — and, you know, I think there’s a lot of ways to win an argument, but proving the other side was correct is not on that list. And that’s exactly what he’s doing with this.
GUTFELD: Yes, it’s great. We — can we talk about how he’s changed? I mean, we’re going to keep it very — but he doesn’t look like a prime minister anymore. He looks like a male babysitter.
TAFOYA: Well, he looks — yes, there’s something going on. But you know what, it is funny because he comes out and I’ve heard him say things like, we need to be more feminine in our government.
TAFOYA: The world is feminine. And that’s — I have no problem with femininity, but there’s a yin and a yang here, anyway.
TAFOYA: And he’s kind of neither. You’re right about that haircut. My gosh, it kind of — it reminds me of —
MACCALLUM: And it’s about the ear talk, you know —
TAFOYA: Yes, and the whole —
MACCALLUM: One ear talk is very —
TIMPF: He’s going to have his ears pierce in three months.
TAFOYA: Yes, and then, have like the dangle his all the way up. But here’s the thing. I love these truckers.
TAFOYA: I love them. And they remind me kind of the Boston Tea Party kind of protest, like their government things up for people because they really believe in this. And people are calling them anti-vaxxers forgetting how many of them are actually vaccinated.
GUTFELD: Right, yes.
TAFOYA: And it’s about mandates. And I don’t know why people continue to conflate those two ideas.
GUTFELD: Rice with crazy.
TAFOYA: Me too. They are not saying you shouldn’t be vaxxed or this is a bad vaccine. They’re saying, let us do our job. We’ve been doing it the whole time. We were doing it before vaccines.
GUTFELD: We were doing it while you were eating your protein, P.M. or P.M.
TAFOYA: Yes, exactly. Let us keep doing it. I support these guys. Look, I think you said earlier today, we’re not there. We don’t feel the real pain of this.
TAFOYA: And it’s probably a pain. This — and Trudeau should have sat down with them from day one.
TAFOYA: And had it out directly with them across the table. Hasn’t done it, probably won’t and this is going to end ugly.
GUTFELD: Yes. What do you make of this mess, Tyrus?
TYRUS: Well, maybe it’s just because it’s my month, you know, Black History Month.
GUTFELD: Yes. You’re upset.
TYRUS: It has made me reflect and look back.
TYRUS: And it’s starting to look a lot like the Civil Rights Movement. Started look like whenever a group of people stands up, and the first thing the government does is devalue the people. They take away their dignity, they make them less human. So, it’s easier when they — when the police went — when they forced the police to go in, or the National Guard to hit them with fire hoses or take away their light. And they’re all criminals and stuff. But in this case, it’s not about skin color, it’s about class.
TYRUS: So, they can try to clean, they all — they all appeal to that, and he’ll make his speeches and he’ll talk softly. But it’s the same thing. He’s basically saying that these uppity lower-class citizens have the nerve or the gall to tell us what’s good for them, when we tell them what’s good for them. And they’re ungrateful.
GUTFELD: That’s the — that’s the reason why the media ends up on the — on the wrong side here.
TYRUS: They were in the Civil Rights Movement?
GUTFELD: Yes, yes.
TYRUS: And they are now.
TYRUS: History is a funny way repeating thing.
TYRUS: It’s not — hasn’t to do with skin color, has everything to do with — they’re — the level of money they aren’t where they are in society.
GUTFELD: But that’s like, you know, freedom, like freedom now is like a dog whistle for fascism.
GUTFELD: You know, or the alt right, you know, and you know, what it is?
GUTFELD: All right. Up next, the media downplays the Hillary scandal, proving facts are too hard to handle.
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: While the Durham probe is causing a stir, the media is still saying I’m with her. I speak of the court filings showing Hillary Clinton’s campaign allegedly spied on President Trump while he was running for office. And after he’d won, and sorry, the people comparing this to Watergate are not being fair to Nixon. But if you’re one of the nine people who still watches MSNBC or CNN, you wouldn’t have heard a peep about it.
A media watchdog group reports that neither network dedicated any primetime coverage to it on Monday, instead focusing on Trump’s finances, and of course, the January 6th Committee. Despite that, you know, this is a big story. But it’s an inconvenient one for the left-wing media for it totally undercuts their portrayal of Russia-gate from the very beginning. It’s like a sociology degree. They wasted four years of your life.
They dismiss Trump’s claims then and dismiss this latest report now, because it makes the media, the deep state Democrats look bad, which they don’t like and makes us look better, which they don’t like even more. Meantime, according to Fox Digital owned by our parent company, Slim Fast. Durham’s investigation has accelerated and more people are cooperating that has previously been reported. So, either the walls are closing in, or I’m really, really growing.
TYRUS, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: They’re close closing in.
GUTFELD: Ah, I knew you were going to sell tires. What are your thoughts on this, on the pantsuit? Pantsuit —
TYRUS: I don’t, I don’t want to have any thoughts on this. I don’t want to give this. We know they spied on Trump’s administration, everybody did. He — inside, we had more leaks, you know that it was nonstop someone was telling something, someone was dropping something. So, this is really no big surprise. And my concern is, is that this becomes everyone’s talking point instead of on the same day, our economy’s worse than it’s ever been. And our inflation is going higher.
TYRUS: And I feel like we need to go — yes, we know she did that. Hit us when the indictments come. But let’s stay focus on the fact that you are — the trucker situation, how we’re doing with our COVID mandates, the economy, and inflation don’t chase this bone. We don’t need it. Safe — keep the, keep the heat on him.
GUTFELD: But you know, Kat, what does it say when a late-night host like me does more news than the so-called news networks? Does that make me the real hero here? Isn’t that the message that everybody should be taking?
KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Yes.
GUTFELD: Thank you.
TIMPF: No, I mean, I guess like the story is complicated, I guess. And I guess that was the defense of some people for not covering it, because it’s hard.
MICHELLE TAFOYA, FORMER SPORTSCASTER: Oh, my gosh!
TIMPF: Because it’s hard, which I guess like I — if you’re not a lawyer, it can be difficult to know, like, what to think. But in that case, what you can do is just report what happened.
TIMPF: You always have that option.
TIMPF: I don’t really think it’s an excuse. I think you can, you can read a little bit and then just like say what happened, rather than not saying anything at all about it.
GUTFELD: But that was a, that was a strategy when Michelle, when they when the New York Times said You know, this is the actual I call it the pre-bud, which is a pretend rebuttal. They, they, you know, this is really complicated. We should probably shouldn’t even waste too much time on this stuff.
TAFOYA: That is infuriating to me. There are a lot of tough things in life, folks. Yes, got a handle on, you got it. And if you’re a journalist, you got to dig through this or you hire the legal analysts to make it simple for everybody. But I’m with Tyrus on this too, on this point. I want someone held accountable.
And if no one is held accountable, we’re going to continue to go — no one’s held accountable. You get away with anything in this country. And that’s what gets at me the most, because there’s been so much that’s gone wrong, and laws that have been broken or rules that have been broken or things that have been done in these nefarious fashion, and no one gets hold held accountable. And the rest of us have. What do we do we feel helpless, and it’s, it’s insane.
GUTFELD: Yes. And you know, the reason for the unaccountability is that you need to have a kind of like an objective or somewhat objective media. So, they only hold a certain side accountable. But you know, it’s like nothing they are they literally got together yesterday and said, we’re going to do nothing to see here kind of assumption, and we’re going to get the New York Times to do this, this pre-buttal and everybody’s going to point to that because then they don’t have to do the work, which is what I would do. I would just always rely on somebody else, Martha, to do the hard work.
MARTHA MACCALLUM, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: I just think —
GUTFELD: Because I’m lazy.
MACCALLUM: I think it’s funny and curious how quickly their heads exploded, right? Instantly. It was like, no — don’t touch it, don’t touch it.
MACCALLUM: And what’s really hilarious is that they worked so hard to read a storyline into this entire Russia collusion narrative for so long. And now they’re saying on one day when one story drops, that everyone else is reading a storyline into it that shouldn’t be there. Well, we just don’t know that. So, while they were all head exploding on “Morning, Joe,” this morning, well, they went to one of their recorders who said, I think when you look at the totality of this time will tell whether or not payments were made, and what those payments were for, and whether or not it had anything to do with research in the alpha banks. So, yes, take a deep breath, folks.
MACCALLUM: Let’s wait. This isn’t you know — he’s working on it. It will come to, come to pass when Durham is done. Gosh, he’s taken a long time. A lot of people are frustrated by that. But he appears to be getting somewhere. So, let’s just see what’s there.
GUTFELD: I wonder if this is going to hamper her run in 2024?
TYRUS: Not even a little bit.
GUTFELD: I can’t wait. All right, coming up our Twitter users becoming Oscar chooser.
GUTFELD: Hollywood’s attention gluttons now rely on Twitter shut-ins. It’s true this year’s Oscar broadcast will include a new way to recognize popular films by allowing fans to vote for their favorite via something called Twitter, Martha, haven’t used it. It could be the first time ever Hollywood cares what Alyssa Milano thinks. That’s a good joke. Users can vote for any movie released in 2021 using the #OscarsFanFavorite. Democrats are already calling it the most secure award show in history.
Now get this, the, the movie doesn’t even have to be nominated for an Oscar. So, there is hope for that art film I made in Mexico earlier this year. The very least my co-star should be nominated. Trust me, it’s hard to believe that donkey was acting. The movie with the most votes will be announced during the show as part of the new unofficial category.
Although, I prefer the old unofficial category, things I don’t care about. But the fact is the Oscars are desperate. Their ratings have been abysmal for years. It’s not like the Olympics, a few people watching a bunch of communists. That’s exactly what it is. Tyrus, I go to you first simply because you and I are movie files. We won’t do nothing but watch movies, did you look at the list that I printed out? Did you recognize anything?
TYRUS: I just look at most depressing.
GUTFELD: Yes. It — that’s the cut. That’s the category.
TYRUS: Because the new theme, definitely depressing.
GUTFELD: That’s the category he just came up with it. It should be most depressing.
TYRUS: Because every movie is depressing.
TYRUS: And there’s only one that I was like, “Dune” gone on there. And they should get an award for being worse than the original.
TYRUS: It was, I think ruined every child who ever thought about going into the desert. If you saw the original “Dune.” So, it was but again, it’s over as an actor, you would dream to make a speech on the Oscars one day, but now it’s like, because you’re going to leave it open to the woke to pick their movie.
TYRUS: Then you’re going to give recognition to the 10 percent of 10 percent again, and because it’s over, because real movie fans aren’t going to be voting on this. It’s going to be —
GUTFELD: It’s going to be —
TYRUS: — calculated groups that want to push the certain something.
GUTFELD: Allow those woke-ist people.
TYRUS: Yes, and you don’t pick it, it’s going to be a thing. So, you’ve just, you’ve just taken away the art and you’ve just fed it to the mob. So, now, a movie that no one would watch by someone who’s woke will now get an award. So, ninth place is here, ladies and gentlemen.
GUTFELD: You know, Michelle, I’m excited because they have this new movie “West Side Story.”
TAFOYA: Oh, wow, that sounds fascinating.
GUTFELD: Yes. I believe it’s a remake, I’m joking. But anyway, is there — are you a movie freak.
TAFOYA: You know, I used to be and I grew up in L.A. and I was a little high school actress and I thought it was the greatest thing. We used to want to go down and watch the red carpet. And now, it’s like, the last thing I want to do with my night is watch the Oscars. So, I did see “Belfast.” I watched it on the plane. I enjoyed it. But it — this show has lost me and you’re so right that this whole Twitter thing is a gimmick to get people involved. It’s like when they gave fans the, hey, you too can vote for the pro-Bowl. You too can vote for MVP of the Super Bowl. It’s so little and it’s so kind of meaningless. But so yes, I’m not, I don’t care. I just really don’t care.
GUTFELD: I’m — I know I’m a hypocrite. I’m going to say I don’t care. But I am going to tune in to watch to see how bad it is. Because there’s, there’s a lot of fun and bad watching something. Some people do that with their show, I find that hard to believe. Not that funny, you guys. Seriously, stop laughing. Martha, why are they laughing at me?
MACCALLUM: I don’t know. Um, I used to watch the Oscars. Like it was the biggest night of the year. I love movies. I am so glad you printed this list out because I had no idea what was in most of these categories anymore. I thought the try — I think Denzel Washington in the tragedy of Macbeth was fantastic. So, that would be what I would root for. He was, was wonderful, but isn’t, isn’t it called the People’s Choice Awards when you let people pick.
GUTFELD: Yes. Yes, it is.
MACCALLUM: Who should win? Isn’t that any of this?
GUTFELD: Does that still exist?
MACCALLUM: I don’t know, doesn’t it?
TAFOYA: I don’t know.
GUTFELD: I don’t remember —
TYRUS: Yes, it exists. There’s the people’s choice, and then the second choice and then there’s should have been.
MACCALLUM: And he always gets up there and say this one means the most to me, because the people chose —
TAFOYA: Yes. Oh, yes.
GUTFELD: I just remember —
MACCALLUM: And you know, they said the academy people were so annoyed about this whole idea of people on Twitter doing it because, you know, the critics and the Academy was very upset —
GUTFELD: I have two minds that I love the fact that they’re Democratizing and taking it away from the elites. But on the other hand, that’s not Twitter either. Twitter’s a bunch of — the people that are going to control it are screaming weirdos, Kat, case in point.
TAFOYA: I didn’t say right like that. I didn’t mean it like that.
TIMPF: No, I am a screaming weirdo.
TYRUS: On the inside.
TIMPF: It’s OK.
GUTFELD: But you know what, you haven’t seen a movie in your entire life, have you
TIMPF: No, it’s been a few years. They’re too long. And I don’t like the Oscars because it’s, it’s not about me. Yes. OK. I’m serious. I think a lot of people feel like that. I got nothing to do with it. And it’s like, it’s, I’m not going to watch it. And just because now it’s like, oh, you can tweet for see if they pick the movie for the category that’s not real no one’s going to watch now.
TIMPF: Because of that. They don’t do like any tricks or anything fun so there’s no way I’m — it’s not about me, no tricks, I’m not watching.
GUTFELD: You know, I have it. So, I have this idea for an app. I love giving out ideas to the viewers at home. So, think about this idea. It’s called the Perfect 90. Do you know what it is? The best movies that are under 90 minutes? Because as a as all these movies are three hours long. I met — I grew up I went to movie theaters in the 70s, I know it’s hard to believe the way I look. You think I was born —
MACCALLUM: Because you were born in 1988?
TYRUS: Reborn. Reborn. He gets reborn every —
GUTFELD: “Planet of the Apes” was like an hour and 20 something minutes, every movie you saw on a Saturday like “Soylent Green” or “The Omega Man” or “Terminal Man,” or any Michael Crighton movie. They were like, they were 80 minutes.
TAFOYA: That’s why you can go to double features back then.
GUTFELD: Yes, double features are great.
TAFOYA: They were.
GUTFELD: You show up in the morning and sometimes you’d come out it’s be night. That was great.
TAFOYA: Yes, it was, that was good.
MACCALLUM: And it’s not even — they need to be better —
TYRUS: I think I looked at it the wrong way. I just had —
MACCALLUM: No, but they need to be better edited. The movies, they’re not, there’s not, you know, 90 minutes of good stuff in most of these —
GUTFELD: They screwed all in there. It’s wrong. I tell you —
MACCALLUM: If you left on the cutting room floor.
GUTFELD: Yes. No need to get violent, Martha
TYRUS: Mine just came out on Apple TV.
TYRUS: #StandOnIt — maybe this is the way I’ll do it.
TYRUS: I’ll start a campaign to get my comedy an Oscar award for serious movie.
GUTFELD: There you go. There you go. All right.
TYRUS: It’s a lot of work. I’m good.
TIMPF: Enough of that.
GUTFELD: Could pretending to like AOC help you reach date number three?
GUTFELD: Laughing is your latest fling just pretending he’s left wing? Is your date pretending to be woke, just to get a quick poke? The latest dating trend is called woke phishing, where people pretend to be progressive in order to lure potential partners. Yikes. Lying about being over five-foot-five is one thing, but that is really terrible.
Somebody, change that joke. Dating expert Alex Miller Brook told the Daily Mail that singles can protect themselves by either asking their dates to elaborate on their views on issues like feminism and climate change, or by waiting to share their views on those issues. So, dates can’t use them to manipulate you. Which sounds like a fun evening. Or you could meet them at a hip downtown cafe, then see if they smash the windows.
My idea when you’re with a date, turn on “Don Lemon Tonight,” if they don’t immediately run from the room screaming and throwing up, then you probably found someone who will throw vegan burritos at cops with you. That was tremendous. All right, wow — mailing it in today, people. Michelle.
GUTFELD: This is not new. I mean, woke fishing is what all guys did to pretend that they cared about (BLEEP) you were talking about when we really didn’t. I go to an animal — animal rights concerts. Climate change rallies —
GUTFELD: 80s and 90s, this is what guys did.
TAFOYA: Hey, let’s go to Sproul Plaza and protest apartheid? Because there’s some hot chicks down there.
TAFOYA: No question. You know, what’s a better way to get a really solid gal? Just sit somewhere with a puppy.
TAFOYA: And the women will come flocking to you.
GUTFELD: That’s worse.
TAFOYA: But you know, well —
GUTFELD: I mean, because what if you’re a homicidal maniac, or a psychopath, but you have a puppy.
TAFOYA: Take that back. I did not give that tip.
TIMPF: The dressing homicidal maniac.
TYRUS: Puppy trying to escape —
GUTFELD: So, wait, you’re saying I should go to a rally, a political rally with a puppy?
TAFOYA: No, don’t take a puppy to a political rally. But you’re right, I mean, aren’t we always manipulating?
TAFOYA: You know, to try to, especially if it’s for a quick poke as you said. No one cares.
GUTFELD: Yes, no one cares. It’s like it’s just lie away, Martha. Well, you know, I don’t know what to ask you. I’m afraid.
MACCALLUM: You know what, I’m a big proponent of people meeting in person at bars. I met my husband at a bar, you know, it’s like, the old-fashioned way with a bunch of friends. And you just, I don’t remember us talking about feminism, like when we first met to get to know each other. But I guess that’s the way things happen online. And you know, then they, then they the conversation goes on and on and on before they actually meet each other.
MACCALLUM: So, I, I don’t, I don’t recommend it. I recommend meeting people in person.
GUTFELD: You know, Kat, when you were dating? Were you always suspicious of a guy trying to act deep? Because that was the thing that guys would always try to do, like, memorize maybe like a quote, or some poem or they come up to you at a bar and they would like read a poem to you. I used to see that on blind date a lot.
TIMPF: Sweet. It happened to me with this one guy, now he’s dead.
GUTFELD: And you know what? Somehow, I don’t think that was a joke.
TIMPF: No. Of course not. No — yes. No, rest in peace. But it was a song lyric. But yes, he is dead now.
TIMPF: I didn’t kill him.
TYRUS: Glad you cleared that up because I —
GUTFELD: I have doubts about that. I think yours is a slow death.
TIMPF: No, yes, I didn’t kill him. But yes, but it’s also like, I think the key is, just don’t care if they like you or not. What do you care if someone likes you or not?
GUTFELD: Yes, there’s seven billion people.
TIMPF: There’s so many people and it’s like, so like, it’s like, it’s difficult to find a man who wants to have sex with you. So, like, you just be yourself.
GUTFELD: Yes, that is true. Why he — Tyrus?
TYRUS: Well, I can only speak from the guy side and not everyone wants to have sex with us.
TYRUS: So, I have, I have been a lot of things. I’ve been an astronomer, a poet, a mechanic, I was Fat Joe, the rapper, all night.
GUTFELD: You’re the Fat Joe, the rapper —
MACCALLUM: I thought you really are all those things.
TYRUS: When I was like, 18 in a club, somebody asked me if I was Fat Joe. I was like, yes, sure.
MACCALLUM: All right.
TYRUS: I’ve worn many hats to get that ass. I don’t know how to put it, but just what guys do, we lie. The only thing we’re not good at is getting out of the lie, and we end up in marriages where we carry the lie and we just keep going and going and never not knowing the difference between a Milky Way in the sky or a bar. But if you’re good at — that’s what guys do, man. That’s, that’s our peacocking, you know, we don’t have cool feathers and colors. So, we have to (BLEEP) a lot.
GUTFELD: Yes, the only thing is so the good thing about — I think it’s a smart move to go to political events, because then the conversations already started. You don’t have to — you can just like walk up to somebody knows what’s going on over here?
TYRUS: I’m going to say this, Greg, and it’s probably going to be the last thing I say. Here’s the thing most of the time, they don’t — you don’t have to say much because they never stop talking. So, all you really have to do —
TAFOYA: Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute —
TYRUS: — is agree. You say, yes, astronomy. They go — oh, that’s deep.
TAFOYA: Are you saying they, as in the women?
MACCALLUM: The women.
TYRUS: I can’t really commit to that yes or no.
MACCALLUM: They just talk all the time, yes.
TYRUS: A sexist would — where were you Gutfeld?
GUTFELD: A sexist would say that.
TYRUS: You guys talk a lot and you fill in the blanks so we don’t have to. You like that game with a blanklines. I say I, study?
MACCALLUM: There you go.
GUTFELD: You are using the gender-neutral pronoun. He was using the gender- neutral pronoun.
TYRUS: Think about it.
GUTFELD: And I respect you for that.
TYRUS: Thank you.
GUTFELD: Yes. But damn chicks don’t shut up!
TAFOYA: Oh, my —
GUTFELD: A sexist would say, and we don’t like sexist around here.
GUTFELD: Get your sexist, butt out of here.
TYRUS: Tell them Kat.
TIMPF: That was a great save. Definitely not going to add this to the tape I’ve been compiling.
GUTFELD: Don’t go away, we’ll be right back.
GUTFELD: We are out of time. Thank you, Michelle Tafoya, Martha MacCallum, Kat Timpf, Tyrus. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with evil Shannon Bream is next. I’m Greg Gutfeld. I love you, America.
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